Called the GP today. I just want help

[RunningFromInsanity]

I think I have depression. I feel like I’m fighting fires left and right and it’s never ending. I’m so so tired of it all. I try and deal with everything myself and I’m so so alone. I’ve had such a bad 6 months and I just don’t feel like I deserve all the shit happening to me.

I keep picking up the phone to call my Mum because I so desperately need her but Im so embarrassed and because outwardly I’m so happy and outgoing, I don’t think she will believe me.

I cry every hour. Haven’t eaten since Sunday.

I called my doctor and they are going to try and get me an appointment this afternoon. I just want to tell someone, anyone, that I’m not ok. Im so alone right now.

Maybe the doctor can call my Mum and tell her. She will believe them.

And then I have to tell work. I’ve been really shit lately and I know my boss has noticed.

So much I have to deal with. I tried to just carry on, fake it. But these last few days have just tipped me over the edge.

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling horrible. Depression is so so hard to go through, especially alone. Do you feel like anything in particular has triggered it? Would you be willing to try medication to take the edge off? There is so much information available - google deep belly breathing and try that. Get out of the house if you can manage it. If your GP can’t tell your mum then perhaps write her a letter? Sending love - I’ve been there and it’s rubbish BUT it always passes x

Thank you for responding.
Just an update, my doctor rang me, I let it all out and she did diagnose me with depression, signed me off work for 4 weeks and gave me some tablets to try.
She thinks it will short term medication hopefully as it’s been caused by a lot of shit things happening in a short space of time. She said, and I agree, that work is a trigger so signed me off immediately. Wasn’t expecting that really but already feel relief that I don’t have to go in.

I then rang my Mum who came up with my Dad and I’ve gone to stay with them for a few days.

Feel relief that someone else can deal with my problems for a bit.

I know that I will still have bad times but hopefully this is the start of getting better.

Todays been a bit of a whirlwind, everything came to a head and moving fast.

@RunningFromInsanity

Thank you for responding. Just an update, my doctor rang me, I let it all out and she did diagnose me with depression, signed me off work for 4 weeks and gave me some tablets to try. She thinks it will short term medication hopefully as it’s been caused by a lot of shit things happening in a short space of time. She said, and I agree, that work is a trigger so signed me off immediately. Wasn’t expecting that really but already feel relief that I don’t have to go in.

I then rang my Mum who came up with my Dad and I’ve gone to stay with them for a few days.

Feel relief that someone else can deal with my problems for a bit.

I know that I will still have bad times but hopefully this is the start of getting better.

Todays been a bit of a whirlwind, everything came to a head and moving fast.

Glad to read you are getting some help and support. I was like this a couple of years ago, mostly work related. I was signed off for a few weeks and started some sertraline. Sometimes life just overwhelms us and we need to get off the treadmill. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm so glad you've got some support and time off work. Hopefully this will be short lived for you and you will be feeling better soon