I only wake up in the morning because of my children.

[Anonanonanon67]

I feel like a fraud. I have everything I've draamed of. An amazing kind and loving husband, two amazing children who I love with all my heart. A lovely home and financial security.

Yet, the day I gave birth to two stillborn babies (twins) I haven't been the same. I never suffered with depression until then. I am 8 years in and I cannot cope anymore. I am living day to day on the edge. I'm getting worse. Its unbearable.

I feel like ending it all.

Hang in there love. You've really been through it - losing your twins. Grief and depression seems to be overwhelming you right now and it's normal to live day by day when you feel like this. Do the best you can and hug your kids even if your heart isn't n it. Go through the motions. Have you tried antidepressants - they can help.

Hi OP

I can feel your pain from you opening post.

Please go to your GP as soon as possible. You need support, maybe anti depressants. Please don't suffer in silence.

Thanks both of you. I really appreciate the replies.

So im on 50mg sertraline @Inkanta
And I'm actively seeking help through a mental health charity @BritishDesiGirl but I just feel like its not working.

I feel at a loss what to do.

Im so sorry you're feeling like this. You need to go back to your GP asap. 50mg of Sertraline is quite a low dose and it may not be the right medication for you. There are many others they can prescribe.

Are you having regular medication reviews ?
I think you need to contact your GP today and be brutally honest about how you are feeling, like you have been on here.
You deserve to feel well, and your family deserve a well mum 💐

I've been on 50mg for about 4 years. She won't put it up as I have Hypothyroidism and on a higher dose for that. I dont have regular medication reviews really.

I do need to go back to my doctor for sure. I've never felt so low and suicidal.

Hi OP, I am sorry to read you are suffering. Are you receiving therapy through the charity? If not I would actively seek some. You have suffered a huge loss and I think you need some help to process the enormity of it. Please take care of yourself.

Could you afford to have some therapy privately? I think EMDR therapy could really help you. It’s for trauma and has very good results.

I’m sorry for the loss of your babies