i cant do this any more, so stressed out

[jenk1]

i dont know where to begin, sorry if id ont make sense.

im so stressed out, im on my own with 2 kids with ASD, my mum has cut me out, i went to the GP,s the other day and he took my blood pressure and said its 180/110 which was high, ive got to go back on monday which is making me more anxious.
i feel like i cant cope any more but i HAVE to for my kids who i love very much but its so hard and i feel a failure and so

Hi Jenk, I have no real practical advice but please don't feel alone.

If you get no help here try posting on the SN threads as there are some lovely Ladies with lots of knowledge about ASD who will help you.

its not just the kids though, its me and my inability to cope at the moment.

its all getting too much.

Hi Jenk. Does anyone close to you know how you feel? Are you able to get some sort of break, even for a day/night? So sorry to hear you are feeling this low.

Why has your mum cut you out?

Was she a good source of support for you?

she,s a weirdo.
she wants me totally dependent on her and doesnt like me having friends she,s accused me of dropping her for my friend fgs she,s 63.

i go to a mental health centre but my appointments not till tuesday, im having panic attacks now and im getting worse.

im panicking cos my BP was high the other day and ive got to have it done again, and im going on holiday in 2 weeks and im worried they wont let me fly.

me and dh split up 2 months ago and although things are calm at the moment im waiting for the next storm to erupt with him.

its a vicious circle, probably the only people i can talk to are on here.

Oh Jenk, sorry, I had to go last night & never got back to this thread.

How are you today?

Are you trying any methods of reducing your blood pressure?

i feel a bit better today xdh has the kids today so theres a bit of pressure gone.

ive cut down from 20 cigs a day to 5 and im going to ask to be referred to smoking cessation on monday cos i cant do it on my own.

kids are back at school on tuesday so that will help as well.

im stressing cos of my holiday, for the first 3 days its just me dd and my mum and dad and im not friends with my mum atm, my sister and ds, brother and girlfriend come out on day 4 so that will be ok.

if it was up to me id cancel but the kids are so looking forward to it and talk of nothing else, which in turn stresses me out even more thinking about it!!!!!!