Are these thoughts normal?

[Toughtimes5]

I have a 4y old and a 6m old baby. Both times I suffered with a bit of postnatal anxiety. This time I had CBT early on and have been in a great place mentally.

But over the last 2 weeks anxiety is creeping back in, mainly due to the news in Ukraine.

I'm awake now and can't go back to sleep as my heart is racing. At times I can barely look at my baby as their sweet innocent face makes me want to cry. I feel so guilty for bringing my children into the world.

I read about a mum in the 70s who killed herself and her children as she was worried about a nuclear bomb and can't get these thoughts out of my head. I feel like I'd probably want to do this if the situation became dire as I can't bear these two beautiful babies experience anything horrific.

If I look at my baby asleep in bed I get devastated that she soon won't be safe and warm and have these visions of us having to escape and hide.

I can't enjoy my days anymore as everything I do I want to cry as I feel that it will soon all be taken from me.

When my eldest is being so cute and funny I feel horrible that they're too clever and will understand what's going on and never be happy and innocent again. At least the baby might not notice anything has changed as long as they are with me.

Is this normal as the news are so distressing or should I be seeking help?

I actively try to avoid the news but sometimes it just makes me more anxious not knowing as I worry it would be better to know so I can prepare otherwise we will be left behind. Arghh I was so happy not so long ago, enjoying my babies and my maternity leave. I can't cope with life!

Putting aside whether or not it's normal, as that is very difficult to measure, I would advise you to seek help if you are in distress. Yes the news is shocking and hideous right now, but fighting in our world is not new and also danger and risk are a real part of our experience of living. That doesn't mean that your fear of nucleur war is going to happen though. I think perhaps you could do with looking at all this stuff in therapy if you can access it.

Definitely follow the advice above. Also, try not to take on the burden of what is happening in the world onto your shoulders. You didn’t cause it and nor can you really do much about it. What you can do is be a good mum to your lovely kids. Try and switch off from the world even for a few mins and just be in the moment with them, play a game, paint a picture, read a book to them, make them laugh . It might lighten your mood. I think it’s normal to feel a heightened sense of worry when you’re a parent because you are responsible for them, but try to keep it in perspective.