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Breaking point

3 replies

charley1212 · 11/03/2022 10:01

I'm sorry for the long post.

My husband and I had a business that failed.
We held on to it longer than we should because my husband 'liked' it.
We've been together for 20 years and he can be childlike, sometimes I feel more like his mum when we have big decisions to make.
Anyway since the start of the pandemic he is convinced he cannot breathe.
He has had breathing tests and chest X-rays which have all come back clear.
He was put on anti anxiety medication for a brief period and things seemed to settle down.
We are in a bad place financially and I am having to deal with creditors both from the lost business and personal.
We are currently in approx £20k of debt.
We are on universal credit and trying to get jobs. I have applied for over 300 jobs and haven't been successful. I am registered with agencies and have been accepted onto an agency to become a cleaner and hoping to get work very soon.
My husband had managed to get a really good job. Good pay and pension and we're both relieved that we can hopefully get back on an even keel.
He has had to complete a months training which he passed with flying colours and I have contacted all our creditors and agreed repayment programmes.
About two weeks ago husband started saying he couldn't breathe again. He isn't wheezing and I'm beginning to think it's all in his head.
Anyway he started the actual job on Monday and he quit yesterday.
He came home in the middle of the day and said he just can't do it.
He said he doesnt want to talk about it he just can't do it.
He has rung the gp today and got an emergency appointment and says it is his mental health.
I'm trying to be understanding but worried that we are going to lose our house if we can't get jobs.
When I try and talk to him all he says is sorry.
We are now not going to be able to make any of the repayments I have arranged and I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
DeliaOwens · 11/03/2022 10:15

OP, I'm really sorry this is happening to you and your husband.

Mental health struggles are very serious and your husband needs help. I know you thought this job was your life line, but his mind is in turmoil but I know you are in turmoil too! The lack of control must be overwhelming.

I hope the GP can help your husband today,

Have you been in touch with StepChange or Business Debtline about your debts? There is a new article about Debt problems on Money Saving Expert.
Could you join a Job Club to take you down a different route to employment?

I'm truly sorry and wish you well.

charley1212 · 11/03/2022 10:31

Thanks for your reply.
Yes I've been in touch with all the major debt helplines and because we have equity in the house they can't really help.
I hope I'm not coming across as uncaring as I'm really not.
My own stress levels are through the roof.
I recently had a breast cancer scare too and I do do realise that if you don't have your health you have nothing.
Money worries though are a whole other level of stress.

OP posts:
Anonymous42178 · 11/03/2022 20:19

Hope you're ok OP. I also have had mental health issues/panic attacks and it's really debilitating so I understand your husband finding it impossible to work. It does sound like panic attacks to me but I'm only going off my own experience.
I'm really sorry for you both and hope you get in a better place soon. I find samaritans so helpful just to get stuff off my chest during times of struggle aswell. Virtual hug Flowers

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