I am 11/12 weeks and my depression is growing more and more. I keep dreaming about running away from my partner or losing the baby and in the dreams I feel happy it's messing my head up so bad. I love my partner and we wanted a baby SOOO much. After a year of trying we were told we couldn't have kids and I was fine with it tbh I felt relieved! But it takes me a long time to process emotions due to being autistic so maybe that was just me not processing it yet. But since I've been pregnant I've been nothing but miserable and scared. I cried with happiness when I saw the positive test and before I took it I was literally praying to the universe that I was so what has happened to me???? I just feel like I'm losing myself and my life is completely over. I've also had to come of my medication for depression as it may effect the baby :( I'm just at a loss, I'm arguing with everyone I'm grumpy and horrible. I don't enjoy anything anymore I don't want to do anything.