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Struggling to separate whats

1 reply

Cremeeggseasonx · 10/03/2022 07:59

Real and whats in my head. My boyfriends finally started councilling this week. We met through a work situation when he was only a couple of months on the other side of hitting rock bottom. He on the outside was in q really positive place and we spent 4 months just getting to know eachother. Alot was through the phone rather than in person at this point. I learned alot about his life before me and what he had recently been through as we got talking. He did end up disappointing me. He sort of went off for a few months after that 4 months. It really confused me and I never got over it. When he did come back though he had clearly done some work on himself. He also told me that he always thought about me and never stopped thinking of me. He said he had been unsure if he was ready to offer a relationship and he backed off because he was getting too close to me. We spoke for ages and then we arranged a date 2 weeks later. We finally met up and we've been together ever since. He's been put on various tablets that affect his moods, sleep, sex drive and appetite. I've noticed he's in patterns of speaking about his dad. His dad let him down alot as a child and man and he cut him off 2 years ago. But you can see he's just gutted they can't be close. He's also in a unhealthy sort of communication with his ex. He was falling apart by the end of their relationship and I guess she got dragged into supporting him which led them to stay in touch. Which I can see my boyfriend is still in a pattern there too. He is bitter and negative mostly when he speaks of her. He's afraid to disconnect from her completely though and there did come a point when I got cross and fed up about her and he's wary of mentioning her to me now.

He started coucilling Monday and she's already picked up on his dad and told him he needs to close that wound. He told me after his first session he lies about his feelings all the time. He's never honest with how he feels and his Councillor asked him if her tell me if he felt suicidal again and he said he didn't know if he would tell anyone.

I know he will be alright once he's got this support. He just didn't get enough help at the time and its now coming out in him. I just find myself up and down overthinking what's real and what isn't. I want to try and relax abit more and understand his feelings for me are genuine and I do make him happy. He's explained so many times he Hates it affecting me because It's not our relationship that makes him sad.

Has anyone got any experience.

OP posts:
VioletOcean · 10/03/2022 17:21

Whilst he’s in this spiral of dealing with what he’s going through (sorry to say this) but he may not have any headspace to be the person he wants to be for you. No matter the support us with MH has, sometimes being allowed to feel shit is exactly what we need.

I have depression and anxiety because of work and this morning until late afternoon I would have killed my closest friend at work and not given a shit. I’m off to a new position soon so doing a handover each day and I feel so left out of work it’s unreal.
Logically I have to do this but today I really just thought fuck you all and fuck everything. I wasn’t nice. But given time and space to deal with my own head helped.

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