Emetophobia - terrified of this sickness bug

[nellyraggbagg]

This sounds so stupid, but I'm completely terrified of the children (not to mention DH and me) catching this Norovirus that's doing the rounds. I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember, and it has become even worse since having children. Every time they open their mouths, I'm terrified they're going to say they feel sick. When I go to bed at night, my last waking thought is: "Oh my God, what if they're sick in the night?" My DH is working away a lot at the moment, which makes matters even worse (he is good at dealing with sick, thank goodness!!) I have dealt with both children being sick (I have found that manic cleaning helps very slightly to take my mind off the blind panic), but am rigid with fear following newspaper reports of this current bug. How will I pick DS up from school if DD and/or I get it? My Mum is miles away, unfortunately. And what if DH gets it? I don't know how I'd cope if he were sick. Please, please help, someone - even if just by saying that I'm not the only person who feels like this!

Lots to report about meeting at Maudsley (it was today) but must get off computer now. Will catch up tomorrow. (It was all positive ).

AnnoyingD - it's good to hear that you have survived the incident, whatever the cause. I do think Daphne's right - we all have to try to draw whatever strength we can from these horrible experiences (easy for me to say, I know...) Slipping up on the hygiene front is so easily done. I'd ideally like my DCs to carry around their own personal basins so they could wash their hands after every encounter with the outside world...

Now here's an example of how awful a mother this phobia makes me. When I collected DS today, he greeted me with the news that he'd stuffed a stone up his nose and couldn't get it out. My first thought? "Can a stone stuck up his nose make him sick?!" - even before I started to worry about what other harm it might have done. Now I am feeling bad for not having taken him straight to A&E (despite fear of sick people there)... And what on earth was he doing putting stones up his nose?! Honestly!!!

Evening all. How is everyone?

Annoyingdevil - just been catching up and read you not been well, you poor thing...but at the same time, how very brave of you! Do you think it could have been the lamb curry take-away you had on sat night that caused the v? How are you now? Were you ok when you were actually v'ing? I can't imagine it!!!! Hope you take the positive from that experience and realise it isn't actually that bad and i bet you felt better afterwards,and is it really worth living your life in fear? I'm trying to convince myself more than anything here! But honestly, how great that you coped so well...you little devil you!

Daphne - So, how did your meeting go with Alan Johnson then? (suppose you're on first name terms now with 'Al') . Please fill us in. Is there any help out here for us people that don't live anywhere near Maudsley? I remember years ago when i first looked into treatment of this phobia and Maudsley was apparently one of the best, but it's so far away for me! Can't wait to read how you got on.

Hope everyone else ok! xx

Hey Everyone

AD - you are so brave!!! You seem like you survived the incident really well. Sorry you are now worrying about it. Are you more scared about yourself being sick or others? If it is yourself then you have had it already so its likely you won't get it again. If its others try to reassure yourself that the heat of the drink may have killed off any germs and also the small amount of digested bath water is unlikely to carry the germ too. Really hope you are ok.

Daphne - let us know how you got on when you can.

Nelly, Wiggle, BB and Dalex how are you lovely ladies? I am shattered from going back to work full time. There is a group of us in training at present and I am finding it a huge struggle. Oh well, at least I don't have much time to worry about V

Evening everyone and thanks for your kind words.

Wiggleit, it was definitely the dreaded noro virus. One of my 'mummy' friends had it on exactly the same day, and DP had it last week (no v'ing though).

Daphne, no offence taken, and I am trying to draw some positives from the experience. I do 'V' occasionally so I know that when push comes to shove I can cope. I do think that probably makes this phobia slightly easier for me than for those who never 'do the deed'. Even those it's hellish at the time.

I hope everyone else is OK. BB, good luck with ttc and Daphne, looking forward to reading about your meeting.

AD - well if i were you, after surviving the dreaded noro then i'd be out there partying and living it up as there is no worry about catching it now!! You have prob more germs than anyone alse atm! What a great position to be in!! Sorry if i seem to be making light of this, i'm not really. My life is a mare atm until the bloody bug goes away. At least you know you can handle it. Well done chick!
Hi to everyone else. about to go to bed so might not be on here or much longer, but i do hope all is well with you darlings.xx

Dear everyone who is interested, I am cutting and pasting below a bit about my adventures with the Sec of State for Health yesterday. I actually posted this on Morningpaper's In The News thread about "antidepressants not as effective as previously thought":

"So this may have been mentioned already but I was at a bit of a do this morning with the Health Secretary Alan Johnson. The Government is funding training for at least 3,000 more cognitive behavioural therapists with a view to providing talking therapies more widely in primary healthcare (ie. on the NHS and available via your GP). I was there as a patient and had the opportunity to talk to him about my therapy.

In the reception beforehand, I was chatting to my therapist and others who work in her Department about whether or not it was just a coincidence that the findings re. antidepressants was broadcast on the same day as the announcement about this big new thing in Mental Healthcare! Everyone there saw it as a very big deal.

I heard some really very interesting stories about how talking therapies have helped people with many different issues (OCD, social phobia, PTSD, other phobias) some of whom had been on antidepressants for 20+ years.

I have no experience of antidepressants so don't feel in a place to comment, really, other than to just flag up that alternatives might be more readily available on the NHS quite soon."

So basically, yes, CBT will become more widely available on the NHS at some point in the future. Its a shame it can't be immediately. I didn't have my treatment at the Maudsley (although I live nearby) but most of the other patients I met at the function yesterday did. One of them said he was reading about the work they did there in the paper on his way to work one morning, so he emailed them - and he got an email back, and got treatment!

So I wonder if those of you who haven't enquired about the possibility yet but might be interested in CBT, could ask your GP? Of course in some places the answer will be no, but others of you may be surprised to find that it is available on the NHS locally (as I was).

Daphne ? thanks for the update. It might just give the the push I need to go to the GP after endless procrastinating!

Bad news here: we?ve had a plumber here for the last week. He didn?t turn up at all yesterday, so DH went to see him this morning (he lives just down the road) - only to discover that he was bedridden with noro for the whole of yesterday. He is here now, looking pale and poorly (he gave me the details, which I could well have done without) ? and I am of course all shivery and terrified that our house is actually harbouring someone with the bug. I just keep imagining all the things he?s touching. I?m going to have to wash the door-frames as he?s had his hands on them. And I just know that DH won?t be careful about washing his hands every time the plumber hands him something. He has just given DH our house keys back ? so now we have infected keys. I am soooooo worried now? any reassurance out there? I keep trying to tell myself that noro adults probably wash their hands quite well, but it?s not much consolation?

Have been reading BB's long post from ages ago about how noro is transmitted, which offers some reassurance. However, I can't help but think that DH will catch it as a result of handling the same tools etc as our lovely plumber - and that our builders are bound to catch it via the same route (they work with the plumber regularly). What gets me a bit is that our plumber really should have stayed at home today - he's out in the community, presumably passing it on to someone, even if not us!

Hi everyone.

Nelly, i agree, the plumber should have stayed at home. People with the virus are supposed to stay at home for 48hrs after the sypmtoms have stopped. How inconsiderate?! If it'd been my husband who'd gone round there and found out this awful thing he would have made sure the plumber didn't enter our house again until he was 'safe', even if he'd had to tell him the truth. He's done it before. Not wanting to make you worry more though, sorry if i've spoken out of turn. Try and think that as long as you and DH wash your hands and you get everything wiped down that may be contaminated then you should be ok. Hygiene is the key with this bug. Plus i would keep reading BB's post about transmission because i have to say it helped me loads when i read that. I refer to it in times of need! Dettox everything!!!

How is everyone else this evening? I'm not staying on long because i'm going out in a bit, having a little get together with a few of the girls, just hope none of them drop it into the conversation that they've been ill! Aaarrgghh!!!! Haven't spoken to them all, normally i like to speak to my mates before we meet up just to do a 'check'! One of them is a teacher and haven't spoke to her for ages.

I am a little worried about myself tonight though because i didn't want my tea. I cooked it and didn't think anything of it but when we sat down to eat i couldn't eat mine, now i'm worrying that it's a sign! Wondering whether to take an anti-emet before i go out but don't really want to because they make me tired. But on the other hand at least i'd have one in my system if i did start to feel ill while out. I'm driving so at least i'll be able to come home if i start to feel more dodgy. Wondering if it's all the stress of the week catching up with me bacause have had a horrendous week with one thing n another. (I worry too much!!)

Hope you all are well and have a nice evening, ugz n stuff xx

"well if i were you, after surviving the dreaded noro then i'd be out there partying and living it up as there is no worry about catching it now!! You have prob more germs than anyone alse atm! What a great position to be in"

Wiggleit, that really made me laugh, well the first bit anyway. The second bit stressed me out as the dcs haven't caught it yet - I don't wanna be full of germs, pouts

Nelly, sorry to hear about your plumber, but be comforted by the fact that we seem to have avoided passing it to the dcs. Keep up the hand washing.

Thanks, bb. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow! And have fun with your ttc...

Have had a miserable evening of worrying about how we will cope if DH and I both get the plumber's noro. How on earth can you look after children if you're both in bed??? It's not the kind of bug you can ask for help with...

DH was not very sympathetic to my concerns.

I shall be checking us all like mad for the next 48 hours...

Thank you, bb. That's rather what DH said - but it's very different and rather more reassuring when it comes from a fellow phobe!!
Big hugs to you, too...

Hello BB!
All fine so far - so we have survived one day post-plumber (who was back this morning - boo). I didn't feel I could tell DH to ask him not to come, as we have had no hot water for two weeks!!
How did your session go??? I soooooo hope it helps...
And hello and good health to the rest of you, too!
xx

Hi everyone! How are we all? Fine and dandy i hope.

Annoyingdevil - glad i made you laugh with my little speach on getting out there and partying! But i would. That's the main thing that stops me doing stuff is fear of catching the dreaded bug so if i'd survived the experience then there'd be no holding me back! How things with you chick?

Nelly - Glad to hear all is ok in your household, keep hand-washing!! I would still have got DH to stop plumber coming, hot water or not! Know it's an inconvenience but i'd rather have that inconvenience than the dreaded! But i haven't been without hot water for 2 weeks so how can i go on hey? STAY STRONG!! sending some good luck hugs your way! x

BB - Sooo, how did it go today babes? Fill us in on all the details. Hope you got something out of it and felt it could help. Have fun ttc you mucky lucky thing! xx

Wiggleit - ah, but we've had no loo either!!! Cue major panic about how we would cope if we did get noro... now have a loo, but no bathroom door, so am adding 'DH potentially being sick with no door on the bathroom' to my list of worries... how sad is that?!

hello everyone... goodness, so much has been going on here in my absence. well, it hasn't really been an absence as such. more of a hiding away due to a heap of stuff going on... mostly nothing more than minor irritations (amazingly enough our glass shower panel shattered into a million tiny pieces during the earthquake... and we are in nw london - bizarre!), a few slightly more worrying irritations (ds having repeated attacks of strange tummmy bug since south africa - d without v (thank god ) but lots of waking in the night screaming with tummy pain , and mainly rather distracted by the fact that i have found a rather large lump in my breast. gp thinks most likely nothing nasty but have been referred for scan and possible biopsy next week. oh and feeling rather stressed and extremely preoccupied about being (early) pregnant and having no symptoms at all (i am sure i had sore boobs, funny taste, nausea etc when pg with ds at this stage) so you see, there has been very little space in my worry-filled head for emetophobia!!! which is a definite positive!

annoyingdevil, hugs to you for your horible experience. sounds like you coped amazingly well.

nelly, have everything crossed the plumber has kept his germs to himself. have a feeling all will be fine.

daphne, v interesting reading re; your meeting wih Alan Johnson.

bb, hope you are having fun ttc and not getting to sore i am far too early, feling far to un preg and reading far too much to be able to feel excited yet.

notalone, hope work is going well and continuing to keep your mind off your fears

everyone, i enjoyed reading all the talk about curry safety and also the discussion about emet being so much worse at night. i also keep myself awake if feeling ill and need lights/noise on if any fear of v etc. every time ds has woken recently with tummy pain, i immediately turn all lights on (much to dh's annoyance and bewilderment)

please excuse this rather nonsensical ramble...am extremely sleep deprived this week.

love and v free wishes to all and apologies for my recent unintentional abandonment of this wonderful board x

Zonedout... you poor thing. No wonder you've not had time to think about the dreaded phobia. I do hope your DS's d clears up - and, of course, will have everything crossed for your lump and pregnancy.

If it's any consolation, I don't think I had obvious pg symptoms as soon with my #2 as I did with #1. But then they materalised with a vengeance!

Good luck with it all - am thinking of you.

Nelly, good point about no loo either, didn't realise that! Yes can sympathise with the latest fear of having no bathroom door should DH suffer although i'm sure you'll both be fine because i've sent some good chi your way! Hehe .

Zonedout - sorry to hear ds is still suffering from d, bless him. At least no v though hey? Have you seen a doctor? Maybe he has a germ or somthing in his intestines tnat needs anti-biotics, especially since you've been to such foreign climes. Hope he is better very soon. Also, thinking of you re lump in the breast, but on the positive at least you are being seen quickly and it could be related to your pregnancy, your doctor doesn't seem to think it's anything to worry about, but that doesn't always help does it? really hope everything is ok. Let us know. Be thinking of you. x

BB - don't wana rub it in or anything but i have had yet another girlie night tonight! Wot am i like? My dd was at her friends for tea for the evening so i managed to catch up with another mum while we were both child free (her dd was staying at her gran's), My DH looked after dd so i could stay a bit longer and have a glass of wine. fab or what? That'll be it now for ages! Won't go out now you watch! x

Anyway i'm about to retire to bed now, hope everyone has a peaceful night and a good weekend. Catch up soon all! xx

thanks girls!

nelly, that does ease my fears a little, thanks! hope you are still noro free this morning, by which time i think it would be safe to say you can stop panicking!

wiggle, yes i took ds to the gp when i went for my breast as i was thinking the same thing. typically, he hasn't had d again since but the gp wants a sample if it comes back (and he has had two bouts each lasting a week so far in the 3 weeks we have been home!) it's funny, the worry about my breast overtook the worry about my preg being viable/healthy which had taken over all worry of v!!! since having some reassurance from the gp about the lump i am back to worrying about my preg yes, i am a freak!

bb i am sorry, i meant to mention about your therapy in my previous... that is so fantastic that you have started already and i really admire you for having the courage and motivation to take the plunge. it certainly sounds very hopeful so far. as for your ttc, i have everything crossable firmly crossed for you... the absolute worst is getting your hopes up for them to be dashed so i know i shouldn't really say this but the first thing that made me wonder was falling asleep on the sofa by about 9pm... good luck in your 2ww.

Hi everyone, how's things?

BB - yes was knackered today but my DH is sooo lovely he let me have a long lie-in and entertained DD!! How lucky am i? She entertained herself on the computer for ages and then they both made some rice krispie buns, mmmmm!

Zonedout - you are not a freak, well no more than any of us on here!! You are in good company, we understand freaky!!! you just a normal Mum with the usual worries. Hope ds ok from now on. Maybe he has got rid of the bug himself, lets hope so, poor sausage.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Have a lovely Mother's day tomorrow!! Here's to all us yummy Mummies!!!! xxx