Emetophobia - terrified of this sickness bug

[nellyraggbagg]

This sounds so stupid, but I'm completely terrified of the children (not to mention DH and me) catching this Norovirus that's doing the rounds. I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember, and it has become even worse since having children. Every time they open their mouths, I'm terrified they're going to say they feel sick. When I go to bed at night, my last waking thought is: "Oh my God, what if they're sick in the night?" My DH is working away a lot at the moment, which makes matters even worse (he is good at dealing with sick, thank goodness!!) I have dealt with both children being sick (I have found that manic cleaning helps very slightly to take my mind off the blind panic), but am rigid with fear following newspaper reports of this current bug. How will I pick DS up from school if DD and/or I get it? My Mum is miles away, unfortunately. And what if DH gets it? I don't know how I'd cope if he were sick. Please, please help, someone - even if just by saying that I'm not the only person who feels like this!

Oh BB you have my sympathies. Nelly - what you described sounds exactly what would happen in my household too . There could be all manner of reasons why he was sick, perhaps travel sickmess, excitement or just eating something he shouldn't have. Holw old is he? I would suggest what Nelly has, if he hasn't been sick again you should be ok to go (though do buy some First Defence first for that extra protection) and if he has you are then perfectly within your rights to say that you are really sorry but you can't meet as DD has "........." on soon (enter something important) and she can't risk being ill and catching it. Have you thought about perhaps being honest and explaining how you are with V? I did with my old childminder and was met with but from then on whenever she or anyone close had been sick she would always tell me without prompting what sort of v it was, so was reassuring. Good luck x

Hi, I'm a Mumsnet virgin...just been reading thru some messages..totally get where you are coming from. I've had this phobia for as long as i can remember. If it were me i would be inclined to make an excuse and not risk it but that's just me being overly cautious!! I've also tried the telling people approach but am usually met with comments like 'well no-one likes being sick' etc. Plus i find that people don't remember you have the phobia because it isn't such a big deal to them.

Hi wiggelit welcome. BB can you ring and see if you can bring anything for lunch and enquire at the same time about dnephew.

Hi bb, it's nice to know i'm not alone with this. I'm lucky that i have a very understanding husband, but it's not the same as talking to someone who really knows how scary it is!! I've practically lived like a hermit these past few weeks which is difficult when you have a 7yr old! Watch the news all the time for updates on the latest bug, but at the same time, don't wana hear it. I live South Yorkshire area, anyone else live near? Where are you bb? Still, it's comforting to know there are others out there. xx

Hi ineedapoo, ta for the welcome! x

BB how about phoning and enquiring about your nephew. You could say that your dd recently had this bug and got really dehydrated, and you're really worried about it happening again. Your DD is pretty young isn't she? and noro can be quite dangerous for the under threes. Maybe worth a try.

You could offer calpol diarolyte etc

Sleep on it but i would consider being honest about the situation seeing as it is family, they will prob be dead good about it, plus in future they'll know.x

It sounds as if honesty may be called for - I'd see this as a bit of a desperate situation. 3.5 is rather old to be sick for no reason, I'd have thought (my rational self knows that people are sick because they've eaten too much/something funny, or they're excited, or all kinds of things that wouldn't be contagious - but my fearful self outweighs this!) I know I'd end up saying something if I thought we might be entering a sicky household, even if I really, really didn't want to say anything. I'd just end up blurting it out to DH ("I'm sorry, I'm pathetic, but I just can't do it... etc etc etc") - which would undoubtedly make for a grumpy DH, but I just wouldn't be able to put myself in the danger zone. If honesty is taking things a bit too far (and I can understand if it is - I have told countless fibs to get out of seeing people whose children have been sick - perfectly easy if it's nothing that involves DH or family, as it's just my problem then), is there any other pretext you could have for ringing tomorrow morning? Could you claim your DD had a bad night and is catching up on sleep? That sounds a bit lame, but maybe desperate measures are called for!!

Whatever you do, we'll have our collective fingers crossed for you.

Hello Wiggelit, and welcome. I was practically a mumsnet virgin before posting about norovirus, and I have found it a real godsend. Just knowing that I'm not the only weirdo in the world makes such a difference. It doesn't make the phobia go away, but it does make me feel less alone with it.

BB What a dilema. I really do feel for you and if I were in the same situation I would be thinking about nothing else, to the point of becoming obsessed. It would give me a very sleepless night!

However putting my fears to one side no one would want to knowing walk into the possibilty of their dcs becoming ill, coughs and colds are one thing but sickness bugs are another matter entirely and as a responsible parent I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to contact your mil to enquire whether your nephew is better. If you can clarify the nature of the sickness episode and it turns out to be a bug I would not go.

To be honest I think your SIL was wrong to meet you in the park without warning you first that her son was ill.

If you do decide to check with your mil don't feel bad about it. After all you are only wanting to protect your family from potentially becoming ill - and what is so bad about that?

I hope you have a peaceful night whatever you decide to do.

Wiggelit - welcome. I hope you find this thread as helpful as I do.

BB, I feel for you hon (thanks for mentioning this thread in health). I wouldn't be able to put myself in any risk situation, but am lucky in that with ds2 having health issues, I don't sound quite so crazy when I ring up asking if everyone is fit and well, or refusing to get out of the car if anyone is ill. I feel terrible using ds2 in such a way, especially as he probably wouldn't be that bad if he caught a bug, but the way I see it, why take the risk for ds2, or for myself who would not cope well at all with a sickness bug?

BB you are not abnormal my sister who deals with vomiting without batting an eyelid and even offered to look after my ds when he was vomiting is furious. She took her 2 to a party yesterday and a little boy with a bug was there with a bowl

BB, hope everything works out for you today. I did see your post on the other board and the opinion (from non-emetophobes, not us nutters!) seems to be that you should not expose your DD to a vomiting 3 year old.

I think the dehydration thing, dangerous to under 3s etc. is something worth discussing with your DH. I know a number of babies that have been hospitalised with this. DD almost was when she was 20 mths.

Good luck

Welcome Wiggleit! You are amongst like minded souls here so feel free to vent! I am also from South Yorkshire by the way and have a 6 year old DS. Where in SY are you?

ineedapoo - I can't believe someone would have the cheek to take a sick DS WITH A BLOODY BOWL!!! , and poor child too - am sure he would much rather have been at home in bed or on the sofa watching a DVD.

Welcome heartmumtoJamie too. Please don't feel bad about using your DS as an excuse. I have too to avoid social situations where someone present has V'd - we only do it because we are scared.

Did you go in the end BB? Let us know when you can.

I have been even more scared lately as I have heard about 3 separate people in the past week who have choked on their own V and not because they were drunk. I posted a while back on this thread to say that choking is my other major fear so this combined has really given me the heebie jeebies. One was on MN on a thread where op was contemplating leaving her DS home alone where a neighbour with a baby monitor would be listening out for him. Someone posted saying they knew of a 5 year old staying with GP's who was sick and choked and no-one heard him. One was in my local paper where a man who was a recovering alcoholic died from the same and the last was in one of those "real life" magazines. Now I am even more scared if that is possible. Aaarrgghh - just want to be normal!

BB, hope you survived the day and your DD is ok.

I have just got back from the emergency surgery with DS (his unidentified viral infection took a turn for the worse)

He's OK BUT, there were a family in the waiting room with the 'V' bug. We moved to the other side of the room, but there were so many other ill people in there. DD played in the play area with a few other children, and of course, I am thinking the worse.

Thanx to everyone who has welcomed me. You are all so nice!! Notalone, i live between Rotherham and Sheffield, but am originally from Doncaster. Where are you?x
BB, how's things? Did you go in the end? Well done if you did! But don't feel bad if you didn't because i know for sure i wouldn't have gone! Sounds like it was just one of those things coz doesn't sound like he was 'ill' ill if you know wot i mean, but i honestly never ever chance it. Just too scared. Wot is this treatment you are waiting for? would be interested to know. ta. xx

Hello again Wiggelit - I live in the Dearne Valley just north of Rotherham. Are you in the Kimberworth area? Its nice to have another local on here - we can worry together about the geographics!!

Annoying devil - I hate those toys in waiting rooms with a passion. Thry must harbour so many germs. DS has been to hospital a couple of times where they have a really big waiting room just or kids with toys and a mini ball pool and has never caught anything from the toys yet. Do you know they had the v bug for sure?

BB - really glad it all went ok today!!

BB - have been thinking about you all day!! I'm so glad it was all okay in the end. You are very brave for going: I'm not sure I could have been so brave. It does at least sound as if your nephew's sickness was a one-off thing if he was well enough to go on the London Eye in the afternoon, and to eat a Sunday roast today.

Hello heartmum! Believe me, I'd use any excuse in the book not to go near people with v-bugs, dcs included!!

The bowl-at-the-party story really freaked me out. I just can't begin to imagine how/why that could have happened even in a normal (i.e. non-emetophobe) universe. I'd have had to leave on the spot. I remember a boy at Gymboree v-ing during the class as a result of a very nasty cough. DS (then about two) and I scarpered!!

I too hate all play areas/waiting rooms/anything involving germy toys. All I can do is hope for the best and make sure the dcs wash their hands afterwards. I had a minor panic today as I had the WRONG COAT on when we were out for a walk, and so had no antibacterial stuff in my pockets. Aaaaargh!!!!! I had a bag full of the usual suspects (rubber gloves, spare clothes, plastic bags, old tea-towels...), but no hand-squirt. I felt I really would be a neurotic old meanie (in their eyes, at any rate - I'd be perfectly normal in my own eyes) if I told them they couldn't have a biscuit as a result, so had to take a deep breath and let them get on with it. I have to keep reminding myself that they had only been at home and then in the car, so they couldn't really have been in contact with noro-hands...