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Birth Trauma

2 replies

OliviaKate · 02/03/2022 23:35

Mums,

Has anyone has a traumatic birth (maybe during the pandemic) and struggling to accept what happened?

I’m 27yo and I’m a first time mum to a 21 month old. My pregnancy was far from normal and quite lonely. Not what I thought it would ever be. My birth… was a mess, I won’t bore you all with too much detail but it wasn’t the experience I had imagined (not in a silly way, I knew it wasn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows). 7 months after birth I was diagnosed with post natal depression and anxiety (I have always had anxiety but never received much help professionally but had a lot of family and friend support so I managed) my daughter was born in June 2020 so peak of the pandemic. I didn’t get much support or help towards the end of my pregnancy and the beginning of becoming a mum due to this. I was alone for 90% of my labour, belittled and ignored by professionals. I’ve spoken with birth after thoughts, had numerous counselling sessions and hypnotherapy sessions and together they have come to the conclusion that along side the postnatal depression and anxiety I may have a slight post traumatic stress thing going on too. This has opened my eyes a lot! What I went through wasn’t normal and wasn’t acceptable but I’m struggling to deal with the fact that there’s nothing… nothing I can do about it. I would just love to know that I’m not alone and share my story in more detail with mums that can relate and maybe we can help each other.

OP posts:
FrenchMustard · 03/03/2022 16:06

Hi OP, I didn't necessarily have a traumatic birth but a traumatic recovery which left me feeling very angry (being belittled and ignored by health professionals was part of the issue). I had EMDR therapy alongside CBT I was receiving for anxiety and I found it really, really good. I had to do all this privately though through work, I couldn't get it through the NHS (again - triggering for me!). Is this something you could look into? Also, I know some people don't like it but are you taking any medication? Even a low dose short term can really help while you go through therapy.

Please, please don't accept that there is nothing you can do about it and don't let anyone else convince you of that. You can absolutely get better and you don't have to always live with these feelings.

LKRJJCNOC · 03/03/2022 16:58

It's not that I don't think I can feel better and get help I'm on anti depressants and I am always looking for different types of therapy that may be available for you. They definitely help. I can't seem to get over the fact that nothing will change my labour/pregnancy experience. It's not like I can go and do it again. It's completely put me off having more children which makes me really sad but I couldn't risk going though it like that again. I don't see how any amount of medication or therapy can ever make that better. There will be so many other women that have been through similar or worse than me during this pandemic and it's really not fair. The quality of care I was given was just not acceptable by any standards no matter what the situation

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