Toilet anxiety

[mummylikeswine]

So I have had this thing for about 4 years now. I always assumed it would go eventually but now I'm realising it is a type of anxiety, which I've started to call toilet anxiety because I don't even know if it's a real thing.

Basically if I'm in a situation where there is not a toilet or I cannot easily go to the toilet for example, having my nails done, in the car, eating dinner at in laws house, work meeting, at an event, I get extremely anxious and nervous which actually causes me to need the toilet more!! So im actually making the situation worse for myself.

I haven't told anyone about this i have made excuse after excuse to leave situations because I feel like I need the toilet (bowl movements! I should add)

I have a wedding in a few weeks and I am so nervous that I am going to feel like this I am dreading it. It's ridiculous.

I'm wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this and is there anything I can take on the day to ease my nerves ? The only thing that works is alcohol and I can't use that every time or id be an alcoholic!

By being anxious about it you are actually causing the issue in a way.

During heightened anxiety, the amount of serotonin increases in your gut and can cause spasms to happen throughout your entire colon.” These spasms are enough to produce unexpected bowel movements. In addition to stress hormones, anxiety poop may also be linked to your nervous system

Your options are either to accept that ‘when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go’ and start pooping in whatever toilet is near and rise above the embarrassment or maybe seek out some CBT for your anxiety to help you ease your anxiety so that it stops happening.

I’m not going to lie, I’d hold it in all day and give myself tummy ache rather than go on a toilet other than my own, especially as there was one occasion when due to a stupid diet I had to go in a department store toilets. When I stepped out, a work colleague was there & she didn’t want to go into the cubicle after me, she sent the next person in the queue instead That was the first, and last time ever, I’ve pooped when out. Ridiculous, I’m mid 40’s & we all do it.

My DH has had this exact problem for many years (except with ‘number ones’). It has ruined or almost ruined many experiences, eg our wedding day, holidays, days out etc. he can’t go to the cinema or theatre unless he’s sat on the aisle. Public transport can be a stressful experience for him. Basically any situation where he doesn’t have access to a toilet.

He’s tried some counselling / CBT but never really stuck at it. My advice would be to pursue that and address the route cause before it gets worse and affects your life even more.

@ICouldBeAnyone

hello thank you for the comment but I think your misunderstanding a little bit.

I'm fully aware I have created this issue in my head but I'm just not sure how to shake it. I am starting cbt sessions soon.

I have no issue using public toilets at all as I do believe when you gotta go you gotta go. The problem is when I'm in a situation for example a work meeting, I can't keep making an excuse every meeting to leave just because my anxiety has taken over😩 it wouldn't be so bad if I was just feeling anxious inside but it's the physical aspect that I cannot control

I cannot simply 'hold it in' because the feeling that I have is uncontrollable.

I have tried before and the only thing that has worked is to forget about my anxiety and be in the moment but that's not always possible😩

I have a drs appt soon so will update

Do update what the doctor says.

I have IBS. Used to have slightly similar fears about toilets so while not the same, I can understand it. Physical symptoms can definitely get worse with anxiety, and phobias/fears can build up and make it a viscous circle.

Not sure whether you'd feel this is doable yet. I wonder, could you set yourself a small, reasonably manageable task (eg. sit in a cafe you know well and don't get up to use toilet for 10 minutes - or smaller if this sounds too much). Then you could build it up slowly to longer times or a different place. I have taken similar small steps in things I'm very anxious about - haven't fully got there yet but at least it's something.

I’m like this OP. I sometimes take 1 Imodium before a big event to stop me going. As it’s only 1, I don’t have any side effects, I just don’t go that day and I stop worrying. I don’t do this regularly, only it’s it’s something like a flight (I have a fear of needing to go when the seatbelt light is on!), exam etc.

I'd forgotten but I did used to do this too (1 immodium occasionally). It seemed to help and reassured me.

Thank you for your comments. I wouldn't experience this in an cafe as I could simply go to the toilet. It's more of an issue when I cannot get up to go for example having my nails done & have to wait for them to dry before I can go, or like I said a work meeting where I have to keep making excuses or in the car with people I don't feel 100% comfortable around, or at a wedding ceremony where your seated. It's really taking over my life now. It's such a silly thing to be worried about in the grand scheme of things but i just can't get rid of it.

Anxieties don't always "make sense" or seem reasonable, so don't worry about it sounding silly. It will take time. Hope the doctor is sympathetic and you can find a way to feel a bit less anxious in those situations.

I have this but with weeing. I joke that it's my "anxiety wee" but it's very annoying. It always appears when I know I can't access a toilet and is very painful. I put it down to another symptom of my wonderful anxiety. It's so bad now I can't go to festivals, camping or anywhere that isn't near a clean loo or a healthy bush.

I have exactly this @mummylikeswine and can completely relate. Mine stems from having had a bad gastro infection 6 years ago and my digestive system not being as 'regular' or 'robust' as it used to be. It has completely affected how I live and I avoid so much now - it makes me sad as I feel so guilty that it has affected my kids too because we don't do as much fun stuff as other people seem to do. Travel is a big stress factor!! I am going to be starting on sertraline soon and am hoping that will go some way in helping with the anxiety around this!