Im a single mum to my 8 week old baby boy
I have been in a mental health crisis for almost a week
Last week i decided i couldn't cope anymore and went to a&e after feeling like my depression and panic/anxiety was all becoming too much , i was an absolute mess and could barely string a sentence together when speaking to the mental health team . They did an assessment and told me that they are referring me to the perinatal team because they think i have PND , Postnatal Anxiety , Panic Disorder and OCD .They told me the perinatal team would phone me the next morning .
I waited two days and nothing . These two days consisted of panic attacks every few minutes , throwing up from the anxiety i was feeling and feeling like my bond with my baby was non existent , i love him but feel like he hates me .
On the second day i had the worst night to date and ended up back in a&e , after seeing triage they had a perinatal worker come and speak to me , she assessed me and told me that i had not yet been referred at all to the perinatal team and that she apologises that it hadn't been even sent over yet . she also expressed her concern over my PND + PNA as she could see that i was visibly struggling . She then told me that the perinatal team would call me first thing in the morning
The morning came and no call . It got to 1pm and i called them .
They told me that they never call . and that they are sorry i was falsely told this by two people . They also told me that they are having someone give me a full assessment to see if a mother and baby unit is the right route to go down . HOWEVER this is a 2-6 week wait .
In the 4 days since then i feel like my condition has got a lot worse . I am having anxiety attacks one after the other , im not eating properly due to the intense anxiety , i have not left my room , i havent showered . I feel like my bond with my baby is starting to go to dust . At night this is considerably worse and i cry myself to sleep . I feel no joy and am a shell of the women i used to be .
I begged my GP for help today , i begged him for tablets so i could feel calm and they said no , until the perinatal team has seen you we wont give you anything due to the fact we might give the wrong thing .
Im such a mess and i can feel myself getting worse
I have the help of my mum currently , however its getting so bad she can't calm my panic attacks down . I haven't slept and if i do sleep it will be in short intervals so 4 hours one night and 2 hours the next due to the fact my baby struggles with colic and silent reflux , he spends alot of time crying , i cry with him too as i feel hopeless like i cant help him .
I feel like this is the longest wait ever and just want to be in a mother and baby unit now so i can feel safe and like im getting proper help/therapy .