Books to work through trauma?

[Kai1981]

Bit of background: I had a traumatic end to my marriage four years ago (ex DH was an addict). Worked through it in counselling, was on anti depressents and anxiety meds.

By 2020 I was off meds, not seeing counsellor and was much happier as I'd moved on.

But when I started dating a lovely man, it seemed to trigger something and I've regressed into low mood and anxiety. Really took me by surprise as I was doing really well and he makes me happy. Possibly it's because I feel so vulnerable again.

I am seeing my counsellor again but I'm not sure talking about it over and over is the answer. Really I should prob see a psychotherapist but not that easy to do.

Are there books I could use to work through my trauma alongside the counselling?

I like books by Alice Miller, Bessel Van Der Kolk or Gabor Mate to look at trauma. They tend to focus on childhood trauma which is where I believe our trauma response is formed so it makes sense to me. For a gentle and loving book I recommend Sarah Blondie's Heart Minded which reminds us to move into our hearts and out of our heads. She also does guided meditation available on insight timer or YouTube. I wish you all the best. I think these things keep circling round and coming back to derail us until we can process them and then they lose their sting a bit. I have had long term therapy alongside reading these books because I also believe that we are hurt in relationship and we heal in relationship. This work is more deeply done with someone alongside you. Take care.

Also I hear you on feeling like your therapy is repetitive but there is something about the need to repeatedly speak about these topics that we need to air in therapy, maybe because we then trust that we can take these topics to therapy rather than dump them on those others in our lives. One day the need to go back to it will lessen. Have you mentioned this concern to your therapist? I would raise it in a session and see where it takes you.

Counselling is not approved as a treatment for trauma and is advised against because it makes it worse by embedding the trauma instead of healing it.

I would strongly advise you to stop before you do yourself more harm - you can read the guidelines from NICE, don't take my word for it. It suggests your counsellor lacks knowledge and skills if they have not already told you that it is not safe for them to work with you.

You need a trauma therapy like cognitive trauma therapy (CTT) or trauma-focused CBT, EMDR, family model therapy (doesn't mean 'therapy for a family' it's a methodology for treating a person), etc.

And it needs to be with a therapist or clinical psychologist with trauma expertise.

Books...

Trauma & Recovery, Judith Herman
Overcoming Trauma through Yoga, Emerson & Hopper
The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk

Also I hear you on feeling like your therapy is repetitive but there is something about the need to repeatedly speak about these topics that we need to air in therapy,

That is not the case for trauma. The evidence shows that this is harmful and prevents trauma from resolving.

Trauma therapy has to be approached really carefully by someone with training and expertise in working with trauma otherwise it is very easy to make it worse, embed the trauma and damage the person's chances of recovering.

Firstly are you working with a trauma informed counsellor?
Secondly you don’t need to talk things through in therapy to process trauma there are many different ways but your therapist needs to know how to work that way.
I recommend the book by Jasmin lee Corrie healing from trauma, it’s readable but can be quite difficult.
You may find talking to your counsellor and letting them know how you feel beneficial.

Thank you everyone. Really helpful.

I just looked at the counsellor's website and actually they are a psychotherapist too (I had obviously forgotten this as I first worked with her at a very difficult and bewildering point). It does say she deals in trauma specifically.

I just sometimes find that by going over the same things I become overwhelmed, to the point I can't talk anymore in the session. Although outside of the sessions, I do feel much better. Perhaps this is a sign it is working?

I think I'd like to look at the books anyway, so thank you for that.

Oh and I will also raise this all with her!

Have a look at Respark, by Graham Music - it's just out and is fantastic.