Hi all, i have been experiencing a decline in my mental health for some while now and its massively impacting on relationship.
For the past 2 months or so i have been feeling as though i cant feel happy. I can feel my anxiety going through the roof and have been crying alot more and thinking negatively. On top of that i am on my 3rd pms within a month so i know something is off. Im so tired all the time and feel hopeless.
For some context im a single mum to toddler, live alone with child. No family support and what feels like no friends. Mother is an alcoholic. I work 3 12 hour shifts a week and have 0 childfree time out of that. The one good thing i have in my life is my partner who sadly i cant even be myself around anymore either. He is a great guy, kind, loving, funny and can do no wrong but i am really struggling to feel love at the minute. His opinion is that i am just always thinking negatively and i should focus on what we have but i really cant. Even my relationship is starting to feel numb to me. I feel awful, ive just done nearly 2 days without even speaking to him because i just dont know what to say. Imo he doesnt understand. He will say ik ur lifes tough but stop letting these things affect us. Its not about that at all its everything has dragged me down as a person and i dont feel like i have any strength to go on anymore. Its affecting my work im crying and making silly mistakes, i long for a mother i dont have instead she has frequent hospital visits from falls and spends her days throwing up or drinking all day. Ive recently been unwell for a week and still had to look after my child of course but this totally drained me. Instead of resting and q day in bed as i needed it was the usual busy routine of up at 6 trying to keep my toddler happy as i feel he often sees me standing zoned out. Ive tried to explain this to my partner but im sick of being told to just think positive. Hes now saying i just dont want to be with him and just want somebody else and i need to be honest :S this is not the case at all. I have said to him im sorry i cannot be the person u deserve or want me to be right now so perhaps we should have a break because i really am struggling. I cant appreciate u and u deserve to be loved. He genuinely is a great guy and i feel even more awful for not being able to feel close to him. What should i do?