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Very bad health anxiety

2 replies

Antares444 · 17/02/2022 16:02

Hi everyone, I'm relatively new to this forum and it's been really nice to be here. It's helping me deal with my issues. I got some bad messages criticizing my English language (not a native speaker) but the majority here has been amazing with me, so thank you!

I have a serious problem that has worsened recently. I grew up with a mom that had a lot of anxiety issues and several phobias. I remember her crying whenever I had a fever, she would take me to the doctor in panic for every stupid thing. I live in constant fear of getting sick and dying. When I was 18 I moved out, went to college, and met great people and those were some of the best years of my life. But... then I had a son and he was constantly ill, almost died at the age of 2 (status epilepticus) and after that my life has been hell. These last 10 years have been a constant worry. Even when he stopped being sick and became strong and happy and healthy I couldn't stop worrying. He's almost 13 y/o now and I'm still worried about him. It sounds ridiculous and I am ashamed of writing this here but maybe if I write it down it will help... so, I worry about his digestive "problems", Several doctors have checked him because he has some issues with loose stools and mucus sometimes but all the tests were fine. A very good specialist told us he is fine but my brain doesn't want to believe it. I wake up every morning wondering if he will be sick today. When he's in school I keep the phone close to me all the time, worried that the teacher will call to tell me he's sick. When we travel I don't enjoy it like the rest of the families, I've been to amazing places all around the world but all I could think of was, will he get sick here? What if he gets sick?. The same happens when we go on a trip or meet friends. If he goes to pee more often than usual I panic, imagining all the worst possible scenarios (kidney infection). If he wakes up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night I immediately wake up and run to his room to ask if he is OK. He is annoyed, of course, says he just needed to pee and that I'm crazy. I mean, I sometimes took him to the doctor but he was totally fine. My brain is convinced that something is wrong, but doctors tell me there's nothing wrong but I can't calm down.

In December I decided to see my GP and talk to her about my problems. She said I have burnout (I work a lot) and also heavy anxiety. She prescribed mirtazapine and therapy but I can't afford a therapist at the moment, so I tried the pills. They helped me, yes, but I felt numb. I just slept and ate. I had no feelings, couldn't cry, laugh, I was literally numb. I won a lot of weight and decided I would try to fix the mess in my head by myself and quit the medication.
I am aware of my problem, I know that all my worries make no sense and I know what people think of me - that I am nuts. When I talk to other moms and I see them so relaxed even when the kids have a fever I wonder, how do they do it??? My husband thinks I'm fine, I mean, on the outside nobody can see how I really feel because I'm very good at hiding it, but then I do crazy things like calling a doctor because I think my son is very sick, and the doctor looks at me as if I was nuts and asks, why did you bring him here if he is fine?.
It's never been so bad before, although there are no reasons for me to worry. I want to have a normal life, my kid is big now and I can work full time again and enjoy my hobbies and live a more free life but... I'm trapped in this anxiety that ruins everything. Even a short trip to the nearest town is hell for me...

Thanks for listening/reading. I believe this will end someday but in the meanwhile, I would be very grateful if you gave me some advice.

OP posts:
Laurie01 · 17/02/2022 16:21

You are behaving as your mum did with you. You know you are doing it. Yes there are risks with everything your child does and the places they go, but you have to not restrict them and start living your lives. For your child and for you.
Perhaps talking therapy is the way forward with a professional or even a friend.

GeneLovesJezebel · 17/02/2022 16:24

You have anxiety. Take the medication and give it chance to work.

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