Another Debbie downer

[Cleanbedlinen12]

Sorry, posting here because don’t know what else to do. Suddenly can’t cope At All. Maybe it’s a reaction to letrazole I started yesterday, but just can’t cope. No savings, no pension, 2 teens, Dp is exhausted and miserable, house tatty and falling down, money worries..mum has dementia and is in a home and apparently I can’t book to see her at Easter unless I have a job. It’s all just so relentless and never ever seems to get better. We never seem to have any successes, only relentless money worries and never going out. We moved to somewhere fairly remote and though it’s lovely, I’m sick of it and long for mates and dinner parties and my own money. I guess the life before kids.Gp suggested sertraline..?
Thanks for listening, worried that I am about to spiral down.

So sorry OP. That sounds hard.

There's always stuff you can do to help. It might take a while but little by little, one step at a time....

Have you booked in for talking therapy too? It sounds like it would help.

One small step at a time. Can you do anything to your home to make it less tatty? Is it the house itself or the interior, can you sort out one room so one is done then move on to another?
I have to manage things in little chunks. So I do the washing up, then move on to hoovering that type of thing.
I also cannot worry about things I have to wait for m/can’t change …. You can’t change when you see your Mum so try not to think about how unfair it is. Book to see her and you can call the home every week (or whenever) so that will stop the overwhelming feelings that you may have because you have to wait to see her

I sometimes feel low and the biggest hurdle is dragging myself out of bed. Once im up im ok and i try to keep busy with interests and hobbies.

Oh gosh thank you all! I made myself tidy the kitchen in baby steps like you suggest just ms invisible ( that’s a worrying name!) and then moved on to some of the rest of the house. Seeing a clean kitchen did help! Of course it’s now mucky again.
The house is badly in need of repair outside ( rotten windows, tatty paint etc) and I need to put aside time to paint the interior. I think I get stuck because I hear Dp saying why am I doing x when I should be doing y. ( his default response to anything is’ no’) It means I don’t actually know what to do and end up like a rabbit in the headlights. Of course Dp doesn’t understand this. I need to scrape and oil a bit of the kitchen worksurafce and he says,’ don’t do it now, we’ve got bigger things to worry about’ I’ve just realised I have a blind half hanging off. He said no to buying a new one, I have to wait till we’ve had the windows replaced. They have to be wood of course.
Rant over! Sorry!

My dp is a bit like that, finds it hard to focus on one thing. I’ve just ignored him. I bought cheap rugs and cheap paper blinds for one room, house plants and furniture from Freecycle - it all helps me day to day - feel better about the house. I’ve rearranged a few rooms and tried to find things that are cheap and full of joy, like plants. Ultimately he hasn’t said anything.

But it’s not about the house really, is it? You sound like you’re really struggling. Drugs can help give yourself a break from your brain but during the break from your brain, things need to change in you. Either therapy, CBT app, working to fill your life with things you love.

There is a chance that maybe life will always be a bit like this - insecure finances, worries about parents, imperfect relationships… so if nothing is going to drastically change, what can change in you to go about your life with a different perspective? I’d suggest compassion. Give yourself a break! Give yourself a hug. Give yourself some love. You deserve to be happy and to laugh.

Easier said than done I know.

Aww Thanks penny says. Thats nice of you to write such a long post. That’s a great idea, I’ll get some cheaply cheery stuff. It does look like an old people’s home in here! I am getting a bit declutter Ed too which feels better.
I’ll go out with mates tomorrow so that’s a treat, and giving myself a hug sounds good too! Dp is not cuddly at all. I’d love to change how I view things, I’ll try compassion. I used to be so full of joy, mind you that was when I was slim and single!
Thank you very much

I don’t understand why you can’t book to see your mum? I’ll re read and try to work it out.

Ok is it because this man does allow you to spend money without his say so? If so no wonder you’re bloody depressed love. Who’s idea was it to move to the back of beyond?

Does not, sorry

Thanks RJnomore.