Things my anxiety has told me today.

[wheresmyhairytoe]

Just need a place to offload my anxieties, I'm sure it's of no interest to anyone else so feel free to ignore.

Anxiety bad today, in my head I feel like:

Everyone at work hates me, the whispering they do is about me.

I asked if anyone wanted a brew when I was making one, turns out no one heard me so now they all think I'm ignorant.

Russia will invade Ukraine and there'll be a war. DS is at my mum's for a few days and I won't be able to get to him if it all kicks off.

Went to the gym but convinced myself I was going to have a heart attack on the exercise bike so came home early.

God I hate my brain!

Your brain sounds like it's in fine form today

I'm really sorry that things sound really difficult at the moment. I can't imagine what it's like when your brain talks to you like that 24/7.

If you're not looking for advice just ignore the rest. I know it can be annoying if people just want to vent. Have you ever done a CBT course? If not, sometimes when I have thoughts like this I find it useful to see if I'm engaging in some "cognitive distortions". There are apps/sites that can take you through the technique.

Lots of hugs

Can you tell us more about those apps.

Totally relate OP. it's exhausting.

@DestroyerOfHouseplants

Can you tell us more about those apps.

Totally relate OP. it's exhausting.

I use Sanvello. The free version is pretty good.

Thanks for reading, I'll look into that app.

Today was just as bad. I fucking hate being me, I've never fitted in anywhere, always on the edge. I try to be a good person but I'm obviously not. I get anxious about it which makes things even worse 😢

@wheresmyhairytoe I love your username, that was one of my favourite poems as a kid!

Anxiety sucks, I have days where it tells me everyone hates me too but then remind myself they are probably too busy thinking about themselves!

I suffer from overwhelming anxiety too and just wanted to offer a hand to hold . Anxiety is absolutely shit I know!

Any tips on getting through a day at work?

I'm dreading going 😢

Should add, I was bullied at my last workplace and had a breakdown, was not treated well on return so left.

Not being bullied here at all, but my anxiety is making me feel they all hate me, everyone did at the last place do why wouldn't they here? If that makes sense.

My tip is medication.
Game changer.
Failing that, or until then, try not to push it away. Let your brain work through it. Try to think of what the logical worst case scenario is, even if you are leaning towards catastrophising, and acknowledge that you would deal with it IF that scenario happened.
If the brain scans for something else to be anxious about, follow the same steps.
Identify the time of day your anxiety seems to be worst and try to be busy. Won't make it go away but it shackles it a bit.
All the above helps me to a degree.
My sympathies. It's really not nice

@wheresmyhairytoe I hate it too, it’s awful. I started sertraline 3 weeks ago because my anxiety (mainly health related) got so bad I couldn’t take it any more. I’m definitely starting to feel better but I understand it can take around 6 weeks to really take effect. Are you on any medication? I use the calm app before work when I’m feeling particularly worked up, there are some good sessions on there that only take 10 minutes and they do help.

It also might be an idea to step out of your comfort zone and try to form a friendship with someone at work, and try to imagine you are a friendly, popular, brave person even though your brain is telling you differently.

I really feel for you OP. It's horrible. One of the things that really helped me was distraction. Every time I was anxious I would count things. On the train for example, it was everyone who had blonde hair, then all the women etc. In the kitchen it would be tiles or cups etc. it took some time but eventually my anxiety lessened. I still get it now but not as bad.

I was on Sertraline before my breakdown then put on mirtazapine as I couldn't sleep.
I think a lot of it is hormonal to, am in peri menopause so need to speak to GP about HRT, but ringing them makes me anxious FFS.

I'll try the distraction techniques.

Thank you for replying, I honestly thought no one would.

@wheresmyhairytoe I am also peri menopausal and have gone on HRT patches, only been on them 3 months so too soon to say if they’re doing much for my emotions because I lost my dad around the same time so have been all over the place. The distraction techniques do help, and when things are really unmanageable I have propranolol but I haven’t needed to use that for the last couple of weeks. I find posting on threads like this and talking to people who really understand an enormous help, so I would recommend you keep posting. Hope you have a good day

This reminds me alot of younger self OP. Very paranoid, anxious and on edge! CBT changed my life, as well as positive affirmations/manifestation/meditation and yoga! It's so hard to disconnect from that negative mind set. But it's so worth it! Xx

Have you tried EFT (tapping). I find it has been a game changer for me. I use the Tapping Solutions app.

@wheresmyhairytoe how did you get on at work?

It wasn't as bad as I thought today, I kept busy and told one colleague how I was feeling and she was a fab support.

I'll look into the tapping thing, thank you.

For me it helps to sometimes just acknowledge that the nastiest person I know who says the bitchiest things about me is actually in my head. Everything she says I have heard before and it is just the same old shit churned out in a variety of seemingly different ways but they aren't really.I also project it out as if others are saying it just like you do. It is a powerful way of convincing yourself you are shit but it is entirely self created. Therapy is helping me to understand this. It is so, so helpful to see what I have put in the lap of others when actually it is my own 'stuff'.

My therapist during CBT had me write out a thing my anxiety made me believe and then write down evidence for and against that belief- and then a new, more positive belief at the end.

For instance
Old belief- Nobody likes me
Evidence for- I feel unliked, people don’t talk to me much.
Evidence against- Conversations I do have are pleasant, I made X laugh, nobody has said anything negative to or about me to my knowledge
New belief- I get on well with others.

It may seem a bit strange, but it and other things really helped me. I hope you start to feel better soon. Don’t listen to your anxiety!