I started psychodynamic counselling for what my GP says is cPTSD last November after a wait of 2 years because of Covid. It wasn’t until the third session that we actually started to do any work and after that session I had a complete physical and mental collapse from which I have not completely recovered. I was told that this happens sometimes. We then broke for Christmas and started again in mid January. I think I’ve had about ten sessions so far.
The counsellor says he doesn’t understand why I am not crying in the sessions, which makes me feel that I am not responding properly and makes me uncomfortable. He also talks over me and tells me what I am feeling, except that he is always wrong. I have massive issues with knowing how I should respond to all sorts of things and I do not feel that he understands me at all. He also knows nothing about alcohol dependency and seems to minimise my issues with alcohol, which have accelerated since I have been having these sessions.
I have a heart condition that is exacerbated by stress and I have been very unwell since Thursday's session with chest pain and anxiety.
I don’t know whether to continue or not. I am not seeing any benefit so far, but don’t know whether it is too early. I have lost a noticeable amount of hard won physical fitness since my collapse in November and have not got it back. That depresses me. Two years work down the drain, basically.
I don’t know what to do and I have no-one to ask. My GPs are useless and anyway have refused to see me about my mental health over the last two years even when I have begged.
Anyone?