Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

I can't cope...but I have no choice

3 replies

PoolOfNothings · 12/02/2022 17:47

I've never posted here before, hope this is appropriate...and sorry if it's long. But I feel like I'm breaking and I don't know what to do.

I'm a single mum with 50% custody of a 4yr and 9yr, and my 19yr old lives with me too. Ex cheated during 14yrs together, leaving me with a lot of debt. I have a mortgage and all other bills that I'm solely responsible for. I'm full time in a management role, living almost paycheck to paycheck (no savings) on £32k/Yr.

Mental health is bad generally (depressed whole life, on meds, on waiting list for treatment), but it has totally crashed. I'm off work as I can't cope. I don't want to go back - I'm crap at my job, can't concentrate, can't handle the level of responsibility. I don't think it's the job, I've felt like this in my last 3 posts over 4yrs. I just can't work at this level, but I have no choice because I need the money.

I also feel like I'm crap in every other area of my life. I'm hugely overweight, don't want to speak to or see people, I can't even wash most days. My house is disgusting, I'm tired all the time and I just don't want to do anything any more.

I feel like giving up, but I can't. I need to keep going for my kids. But I just don't know what to do. A cheaper house just doesn't exist where I live, and my house needs so much work I doubt I could sell it anyway. I need my income, but the pressure is killing me. I'm at the point where I want a physical illness or something so I have a "real" reason to make everything stop...and I know how stupid that sounds.

I don't know what I'm looking for in posting this...

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 12/02/2022 18:58

That sounds overwhelmingly hard, @PoolOfNothings. I
can relate to some of how you are feeling, although I’m in a very different situation. Flowers

CrumpetsSwansBeagles · 12/02/2022 19:10

Can you get your meds upped temporarily? Or a review?
Small baby steps.
Start by trying to have a shower every day and eat some sort of breakfast. Then add in a vitamin. Maintain that for seven days - set alarm on phone if you need to.
Try and do three things a day just three.
Then when you've got that habit add in something else. You need to look after yourself OP. Can you speak to Occu Health? Can you get a meeting set up to ease your workload? If not - go sick until you can do manage self care enough.
Do you have Steps to Well-being?
Go for a walk every day or try and get at least 1,000 steps in. Back to basics, OP. It sounds like you've been caught in the undertow and you're drowning. Let's get you swimming again. PM me for anything else.

SparklingLime · 13/02/2022 16:57

How are you doing today, @PoolOfNothings?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page