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After years of severe depression…I’m…ok?!

6 replies

dangermouseisace · 12/02/2022 11:37

I wanted to do a positive post.
I’ve been on here on and off a lot over the years. I’ve been in hospital a couple of times in the last decade, years with the mental health team, crisis team etc. Long term sick, on PIP, in despair. Tried and failed several times to end it all.

But somehow…I’ve been working full time for over a year. I like my job. Only a few days sick (work know I have “vulnerabilities”. I’ve come off 2 meds and have reduced a 3rd. The kids are ok (single mum).

Life isn’t perfect, I still have bad periods and really awful thoughts, and sometimes panic attacks but I seem to have avoided spending prolonged periods of time in the abyss. Equally, there are things I enjoy and things I find fun out of those dark periods. Probably people who hadn’t been in my position would think my mental health is a bit shit but I’ve accepted I’m probably never going to be “normal” and that’s ok.

I think there is so much pressure to be cured and hey life is 100% great and on top of things and I’m happy and in love and oh yes I’m Wonder Woman, but actually, does it? Isn’t it ok for things, and for ourselves, to just be “good enough”?

To all those struggling, hope things improve soon xx

OP posts:
bonnieliesovertheocean · 12/02/2022 11:42

What a lovely post. I am so pleased for you that you are in a better place mentally and it's great that you are able to see that improvement so clearly. I wish you the very best and thank you for sharing.

MuffinStrops · 12/02/2022 11:57

Great news! Hope you continue to feel better.

WellyoucantellbythewayI · 12/02/2022 17:31

Am so pleased for you and your family that you've found some equilibrium @dangermouseisace.
I hope you continue to feel good.

I would agree that we are certainly not meant to feel happy all of the time.

NutellaEllaElla · 12/02/2022 17:47

Fantastic OP, well done! I think the idea of being 'cured' and 100% happy etc is unrealistic and no one is happy all the time.

WaiveringKate · 13/02/2022 12:06

Thank you for this. It's given me hope

EmmaH2022 · 13/02/2022 12:08

Great stuff OP!

I've been diagnosed for years. Also things have changed and I'm keen to try coming off the last med...to see if I actually lose weight.

But scared to try for many reasons.

I also think brain development is a factor...maybe it's a condition I don't have any more.

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