Struggling lately

[Headneedsawobble]

I'm sorry to offload, but I feel like I can't really talk to anyone I know in person so I just want to write it all down :-(

I've always been of a slightly nervous and overthinking disposition but my anxiety lately seems to have gone into overload. I wonder whether it is peri-menopause or just the general climate with Covid and Brexit etc.

I feel lately like I am slightly fixated on my DD. I don't mean to be, but she seems to be leaning on me so much lately that it is becoming all consuming in my mind.

She is 17, has her theory test coming up, is just starting to learn to drive, has recently changed jobs and has been asking me for advice on her interview, induction, e-mails she needs to send, is starting to have to think about what to do post A-levels, if Uni we will need to start looking at open days in June and she has no idea currently what she wants to do. Then there is the actual A-Level exams (as she didn't actually sit GCSEs but just sat tests at school and had teacher's grades). On top of this she is also unhappy with her skin which she is seeing a specialist about, and is overweight and struggling with food and making the right choices - this seems to be a vicious circle and I do worry that she could have some issue with food. I completely understand what a stressful time it is for the youth of time, they have had such a strange existence in the past couple of years.

I just seem to have lost my way with it all - I feel a little like my identity has disappeared as I have spent the last 17 years being a mum and now she is starting to find her feet with independence (albeit with a lot of help from me), and I don't seem to be able to think of anything but all of the different components that I have listed above.

I have quite a small family and a handful of friends, but none that I could really open up to about how I'm feeling. I've often found that I spend my time looking from the outside in.

It would be so lovely to wake up one morning and not have the feeling of dread in my stomach. When I can think about things rationally I honestly don't really have anything to be anxious about. It is all so frustrating.

Does anyone else feel like this or have any tips of how to try and deal with matters?

I hear you @Headneedsawobble and I feel very similar. I feel the weight of looking after my dad, my dd at university who needs a lot of prodding (lacks confidence), my dd who is same age as yours and all those changes, and the 'little' one with impending GCSEs plus my dh is working away a lot at the moment (been away a month due back this weekend), my dog has died, my work is great but hard, and there is no room for me (and I am really fat because eating is the only thing I consistently keep up). And the house is a state, garden massive and a state. I have no energy (well controlled thyroid problem but still). I can't do it all but I have to. And no one cares and no one cuddles me. I feel I have no human skin to skin contact. My colleagues are the only ones who seem to care about me, which I'm grateful for but there is only so much you can let them see. I hang on to the fact that my dog trusted me, I can't be all bad. But I'm feeling huge guilt about having him pts 2 weeks ago (it really was time, he was in a state with failed kidneys).

So I've made that all about me, sorry, but I did just want you to know you're not alone. Actually the oldest daughter is the least worrisome so you could hold on to that, that in a year or two yours will hopefully be making her own way. It really is lovely to be part of.