I'm feeling really lost today and silently crying at my desk and trying not to let anyone see me. It's all starting to get to me and don't know how to deal with it..
My ex has successfully managed to divert the courts attention from him being the abuser to us both being 50% responsible for domestic abuse. The whole narrative of mine and my daughters lives have been rewritten. I've been depicted as the woman scorned, as mentally unstable and as highly dangerous and abusive.. I sat next to my ex in court yesterday with a screen between us and heard him blubbering like an actress as his Barrister depicted what a wonderful and hardworking father he is.
I'm struggling because the Court and some of the judges we've been in front of have believed him.
My daughter and I fled under a section 47, we live in hiding from him. He's physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally abused me and our child, he is not out of control, he is very much in control.
Every other authority has seen him for what he is, except the Court.
I'm desperately trying to protect our daughter, he's had supervised contact for nearly 18 months and we're getting closer to a final hearing whilst we wait for the Section 7 to be complete. Cafcass have stated there is not a safe way to progress contact outside of the contact centre, however I'm scared even with a recommendation that remotely protects both of us the Court will award him unsupervised access and force me to do handovers with him.
I just want to give up. I can't take much more.
Seeing him act like the victim yesterday has really made me so angry. I was just better off staying with him. Nothing has changed.