Mental health - how would you react?

[astrocroc]

What would you think if a close family member who always seemed totally mentally healthy, happy, young family, good job, stable life and everything, told you they thought they were depressed and had been thinking about ending things? Wouldn't it seem a bit out of nowhere? Maybe like it can't really be that serious?

I keep trying but I can't

Have you tried speaking to anyone else, astrocroc?

I have an appointment for a general checkup with my GP in March (wait times are huge here) and I keep telling myself I'll say something then.

@astrocroc please phone your GP today, March is too long away to wait. If not the GP then the Samaritans.
My teenage daughter felt the same and I'm so glad she told me, I had no idea.
There is help and treatment out there, the hardest step is asking for it

Yes, OP. @Peanut82 is right. March is too far away. If you tell the receptionist it is a MH emergency they should get you in. Or, if there are women GPs in the practice, could you just say you need to see a woman doctor as an emergency?

@astrocroc you could call the Samaritans and talk through your feelings and worries with them.

Doing this might help you put the words together when you want to tell someone like your DH or a doctor.

@astrocroc sorry to hear how you're feeling. Please call the GP and tell them you're struggling with your MH and would like an appointment a.s.a.p.

Also use contact organisations provided above for support. Everymindmatters website is also good for support information and wellbeing advice.
Please don't suffer in silence. People care and want to help.

The best thing I did was contact my GP regarding my MH. From the outside I seem ok/outgoing but inside I can struggle at times.

X

Could you text your other half while you are in the same room? I found it so hard to open up and felt guilty for how I was feeling but once the ice had been broken it became a little bit easier because I had someone on my team. I totally understand about not being able to say the words out loud but if you could manage to text or share a link to this thread would that help at all? Please know that you are not alone and that people do care.

Hey @astrocroc - if anyone told me this I would believe them. I know it can be easy for some people to mask even very serious mental distress. I hope you can find a way to reach out and get some support for yourself. You deserve to be ok and to feel better. If you were my OH/friend/relative I would want to know.

Please talk to someone. Phone gp or send an e consult if they do that. I find it easier to write than speak on the phone. I did this and got a call back from gp that morning. They should take it seriously if you are honest.

I get how hard it is to tell those close to you. My dh doesn't know about my thoughts.

However I am seeing a psychotherapist and blurted out to her that I wished I was dead. We had a Frank and honest conversation and I felt better for speaking out my thoughts.

It's sometimes easier to talk to someone outside of your circumstances and who has the training and experience to deal with matters . Gp or helplines mentioned above if you don't feel you can speak to dh.
Please speak to someone to get the help that you need.

My husband told me he had thoughts of killing himself/suicidal ideation and I was utterly utterly pleased he told me. He'd been distant and to be honest I was just pleased to have a reason for it and something we could improve for him and know where to start.

I absolutely do not look at him differently at all. This was a few years ago and if he's having a down day I don't immediately think he's going to harm himself. If anything it's made our relationship more honest and open.

Just tell someone, anyone! Xxx

@steppingcarefully

Please tell your OH. My adult son has depression and anxiety. He lives alone and does not have a partner. He told me just over 2 years ago and I was so grateful he did because then I could support him rather than carry on thinking he was ok when he was really struggling. Yes it was worrying, very worrying but I would never wish I didn't know. Over the last couple of years I have learnt with him how to manage the depression and ride the anxiety. Please please talk to someone.

You sound a lovely Mum 💙

I am sorry your DS is struggling

If it's hard to start the conversation could you write a letter? It can be a good way of saying everything you want to exactly as you want to. You deserve support so please reach out to your OH and get some counselling if you can.

How are you doing @astrocroc

Masking is common. I've suffered for decades and when I had a breakdown five years ago, no one believed how ill I was because I was always happy/smiley.

Since then I've been unsuccessful and hospitalised twice and am currently under the care of EIP for a psychotic break.

Don't be fooled by constantly 'happy people'. They are the ones you should be most concerned about.

My OH asked if I was stressed about work. I guess he picked up on something. I said no and that was that.

Today I took my DD to the GP for a checkup and I was trying to imagine being there myself and saying something about all this but I couldn't picture it.

I had the perfect chance to say something this evening but then I just couldn't do it. I never thought it would be so difficult to speak about something. I want him to know but I don't at the same time.

Very old fashioned but, how about writing your feelings down and letting him read it?

My husband has been amazing which was a shock, he never had the patients when I had the flu or period pains but a breakdown is a different story, your husband loves you, wants you with him and will want to help.