Anxiety , anyone else suffer like me

[victoriaaaa]

So . In November I had a health scare , I found a lump in my breast . Got referred . All good thankfully . But ever since then my brain won’t stop thinking Iv got some awful disease .

Breast c
Anal c
Colon c
Cervical c
Ovarian c
Stomach c
Skin c
Blood c
Oral c

All of those above !! Looking at it now it seems so silly to think all of this , but my body has mimic symptoms ! I google everything and I don’t know if that’s any good . It’s crazy what anxiety can do too you and the symptoms it causes . Also I scan my body for every lump / spot 🥴😭 it’s so draining , please tell me I’m not the only one ?

Yes! Health Anxiety is the absolute pits. I posted about it a week or so ago. Mine was triggered after some abnormal bleeding. I was convinced I had womb cancer - I didn't, it was just fibroids. That was 8 years ago and I've suffered to varying degrees ever since. I've had several unnecessary investigations for cancers I don't have but the waiting for results was agonising and traumatising in itself.

Just last week I was cleared of the latest fear (lymph nodes). I was relieved for a day or so but now my fears have transferred (at least for now) to worrying about the health of those close to me For example, my lovely teenage son has what appears to be an enlarged gland on his neck ( I spotted it when he was standing under a bright spotlight in the kitchen). He has no clue but I'm freaking but daren't project my angst onto him - he seems perfectly fit & healthy, so am quietly keeping an eye on him while worrying myself sick. I also worry about the fact that DH is always coughing (lung cancer obviously) although he did see the doctor a while ago who wasn't worried.

Not sure what the answer is but I can't go on like this, wasted most of the weekend on Google. However, I need to get help soon before I destroy mine & my family's lives. Talking to GP at moment not easy - would be easier to get an audience with the Pope!

@worriedoncemore sorry your going through this too . It really is draining ! I'm ruining my relationship , I'm sure my partner is getting fed up with me lol . No one seems to reassure me sometimes not even a dr i wouldn't mind half as much if these symptoms just didn't pop up ! But they do and then it's a vicious circle

I'm trying cbt therapy at the moment , have you thought about trying that ? Are you on any medication? Iv stopped taking mine as made me worse

Also I should be reassured with my blood results as was all normal , but then I get a little mark
On my leg and that's sending me 🙄🙄🙄 I only got my bloods done 2 weeks ago ! I'm honestly fed up I wish I could delete google / safari from my phone to stop obsessing on google

@victoriaaaa no, no meds, was on Citalapram years ago for general, not health, anxiety and it did help so may consider it. I'm interested in CBT but not sure how to access it. As I said, it's really difficult to access medical help round here atm thanks to Covid. Phone appointment if you tell the dragon receptionist what it's about then doctor will see you face to face if deemed necessary, it's draining & frustrating.

I feel OK about my own health atm - also had thorough bloods recently & clean bill of health but I'm sure something new will pop up soon. Currently I'm stressing about something awful happening to one of my family (esp my son atm). Cancer is my biggest fear. I actually feel sick with jelly legs at the mere suggestion of it.

There's a website called is ieso digital health , it's cbt online . It's through the nhs so it's free and you have one season a week . Iv only had one session so far but I feel positive with it , might be worth giving it a try . You might feel better having someone to talk too , it's typed therapy or video call

Thanks, will give it a go.

DH has nagged me into getting an appointment to get DS's neck checked as, although he hasn't noticed it himself, knows I won't rest until he's been checked. Plucking up courage to call (if I can actually get through and then it'll only be a phone appointment in over a weeks time but would get the ball rolling I guess). Dreading him potentially going through all the tests I went through just a couple of weeks ago - they'll likely think I'm crazy too but maybe it's an opportunity to mention my health anxiety.

It's he's had a infection lately it could be due to that ! Covid , sore throat , tonsillitis or even stress can cause swollen lymph nodes . But best to get it checked out though , most likely it's nothing sinister if he's feeling well in himself . My friend had swollen lymph nodes but eventually went away dr just said probs getting over a infection . Hope all goes well for you and please update if you can x

@victoriaa I know you're probably right but it's the "what ifs". I know that now I've spotted it, I need to get it checked. Mine was nothing (and I'm old!) so praying his is too.

Same here the what ifs !! Ugh wish I could
Just switch my brain off I'm 23 and I worry way to much !

Victoria
Fear not. There is an old and wise saying. We will live as many days as nights.

Our destiny will decide everything.

Yep it’s awful. Mine all started 10 years ago when I read an article about woman with HIV - saying basically they had no symptoms and it could happen to anyone. Well I was convinced I had it. Since then I’ve thought I’ve had nearly every cancer possible - my son had a limp once after a full but I was certain it was an inoperable brain tumour.

Most recent one is bowel cancer. I had one off diarrhoea 3 months ago buy now I find myself panicking it was Early stages of bowel cancer. I have stopped Googling and seen some improvement

Hi
Just want to say I am a fellow health anxiety sufferer since 2006 . I have months if not years when it seems to be less but having a relapse just now this last few months .
It was triggered after my gp finding a mass in internal examination after mid cycle bleed. Was terrified it was womb or ovarian cancer. Urgent scan was done and it is ademytosis . Since then I worrying constant on health things mostly with my family. I came off citropram also in early summer so debating going on again or trying a different one . It’s a horrible horrible illness . I have seen 4 different counsellor since 2006 and the last one was just excellent but she was promoted in 2020 to head of a mental health company so no longer goes counselling . Just wanted to say hello and I know what it’s like
Ellie

I had this happen to me last year OP. I am a nurse and working for the NHS. I began feeling anxious about work and it turned in to believing I had many different types of cancer as well. I have honestly never felt so sick to stomach scared, for months and months every day was a living nightmare. I'm glad to say I am coming out the other end now. I have been back in work since July. I still get anxious but not as bad as last year. Unfortunately anxiety meds make me feel worse so I am just managing in my own way. I'm sorry you feel like this OP. Its rubbish isn't it. Just step away from Google..its not your friend to look up illnesses.

@Elliejane Thankyou for taking your time to reply , yes it really is horrible 😣 , getting through each day is hard but I seem to get through it somehow .

@Tiredmum100 so glad your now feeling better !! Me too I been put on antidepressants / anxiety meds and they just made me worse so I'm just managing on my own , with cbt therapy but tbh I don't think that helping much now . I'm trying to keep busy and always have something planned . I just can't wait to not feel worry for the moment I wake up 😣

I got a letter though the other day with my score on

Generalised anxiety score - 18

Health anxiety score - 19 I'm not sure if that's high or not I'm not sure what the number goes up to !

Oh @victoriaaaa I was just about to write a similar post. I'm exhausted from it!
My current worry is a teeny tiny spot above my lip. I've had it since November and it appeared after a cold sore.... my logical side is telling me its scar tissue from picking it. But, my anxiety keeps telling me it's C.... and it will spread.
Today I've been trying with the idea of a zoom doctor or dermatologist but surely they won't be able to see it???

The last couple of weeks I thought I had throat C, bone C and bowel C. Everything just feels so intense at times. Today I've been convinced this spot must be growing and getting worse as I felt people were staring at me.

I'm 4 days into taking sertraline which is apparently good for anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I knew it wasn't a magic pill but I had hoped to feel some sort of peace.
I've truly lost who I am and can't see a way of ever being her again.

I've attached a pic of my spot just so you can see how utterly ridiculous I am.

@Chummy21

Hii ! I'm the exact same with a red spot thingy on my leg !! Iv probs always had it but never noticed it ! Im convinced its blood cancer despite tests all clear , yours just looks like a little freckle sort of thing .Xx

@vxox its awful how our minds overthink everything it's!

it's more red than it looks in the pic. I just keep thinking early stages or precancerous cells. It's actually wearing me out. This tiny spot is taking over my life...

I keep running through a mental checklist:
I don't think it's any bigger
It's not sore or painful
It's not an open wound
It's not raised or rough to touch

And even though it's dominating my thoughts I can't justify taking an appointment just to have it checked out. I'm just wondering what problem I'll have when/if this resolves.

@Chummy21

Have you had any recent blood tests ? And same here ! Mine not rough to touch , doesn't hurt , not getting any bigger . But worries are still there . Sometimes are body's just have things doesn't necessarily mean it's anything sinister ! Iv got a red spot on my nose and Iv had it years and years

I've had bloods done today for my thyroid. I had partial thyroidectomy 20 yesterday ago and GP wondered if my anxiety is due to that. I really hope it is!
Other than that, no bloods.

@vxox the worry is constant. I've never felt so low or desperate for some sort of relief xx

I'm very similar! I've convinced myself I have cervical cancer, smear is clear so it must be ovarian cancer. It could also be my kidneys.

I'm starting to see a psychologist about it. My brother is the same and he's learned how to manage his anxiety. It'll never go away but apparently you can learn to manage it. If I cannot, I will have to start pills.

It's not a life, I have panic attacks and cannot move because it cripples me.

@worriedoncemore I feel every word you say. I always think I'm dying and I won't see my children grow up (they are 9 months and 3 years old).

@victoriaaaa definitely not alone OP, my health anxiety started in 2019 after the birth of my first DD, then like you found a lump which thankfully turned out to be a normal, fatty lump. Since then I've had a further 3 trips to the breast clinic and I'm now on sertraline. Health anxiety is horrendous and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

You're definitely not alone. I've had this for over 25 years now. It's not as bad as it was nowadays but still lurks in the background.
It got to a point where I would arrive at the drs and he would say , " Which one is it today, then?' . Also I was referred to a counsellor and she took all of my medical books, ( Which I pored over religiously) and shredded them. This was with my consent although I just went out and bought more, ( this was before the days of Dr Google).
Sorry you're suffering OP 💐
Mine too started after finding a lump in my breast, *That turned out to be harmless, thankfully, it was a blocked duct, I was breastfeeding at the time).

Its nice to know I'm not alone . I need to stop going on google but I can't for some reason . Everything that comes up is cancer of some sort . I worry about every blemish on my skin and it's driving me insane . I hate I don't want to live like this anymore , I just want to be happy and healthy . My sister is the same as me apparently x