I think I'm slipping into post natal depression. Help.

[showersandflowers]

Exactly that. Yesterday I scream cried because I could feel my baby's fontanelle and I was worried that meant she was dehydrated and going to die. Seems unreasonable in the cold light of day but in the moment the black veil of grief had descended and I was inconsolable. Called 111 who have put me in touch with the perinatal mental health team but I can't see a way out of this. Has anyone else experienced this? Did it get better? I'm in so much emotional pain, I constantly feel like my baby is going to die.

I hear you. Being a mummy is tough. So much responsibility. My baby was diagnosed with epilepsy. Yesterday, my grill malfunctioned and puffed out weird smelling smoke whilst baby was in kitchen. I quickly removed him but it ruined my whole day. I try to remind myself that I can't control everything and that I am a good person who tries their best. There is no shame in asking for help from Perinaral team. Infact, a responsible mummy would do that.

Also, if this is your first child. They don't come with a manual. You did the right thing checking out the fontanelle. That is always touted as a red flag. Do you have any experienced granparents or friends with kids who you can speak to. Joining a baby group made me feel tons better. Sharing all these stories with other mums.

Congratulations on your baby, how old? You sound like it's more postnatal anxiety than depression. Having a baby for the first time is shit scary but it does get better. Are you a single parent, do you have any support?
How sleep deprived are you?
You can always feel a slight dip in the fontana, like the ridge in the centre of a saucer, that's normal. But when it's like really noticeable to feel like the depression on the edge of a lid fir a tub of butter, like a few mm that's when you need go be concerned. And only feel when baby is lying down not upright. The fontanelle is normally one of the last things to indicate dehydration, your HV can explain fully if you give them a call. Xxx

You have done the right thing - you have asked for help.
Put your faith in them to help you out of it 💐

I think you've done exactly the right thing by teaching out. There are services that really can help you.
I had postnatal anxiety. I'd never suffered with anxiety before so it took me a while to realise. I just "knew" my baby was going to die. Knew it. Unquestionably. It felt like I was in the worlds most fucked up game show trying to keep this defenceless screaming little baby alive, all the while knowing it was entirely futile. He's now 5 and absolutely fine!!
It's a horrible thing to go through. But things really can get better.