Sad, anxious and lonely

[Velvetboy2]

The title sums things up really.
I’ve been divorced for 8 years, and live with my DS16. Parents passed away and no local friends or family. The few friends & family I have who live a distance away are busy with their own lives. I feel I’m just alive for my DS and job.
I’m terribly anxious about things and overthink things. I also have a bit of ocd.
Have thought about starting anti depressants again to try to take the edge of the anxiety but dread the side effects. I’ve had a bit of cbt which has been useless so far and my doctor isn’t interested.
Sorry I know this sounds like I’m just feeling sorry for myself and I do have things I should feel grateful for but just needed to “talk” to someone.

You sound a lot like me tbh - it’s shit isn’t it. Do you enjoy your job? Could you shake things up a bit there? What about hobbies - do you do anything outside of work and home that could bring you some joy? I’ve just started signing up for random local walks and talks to get me out. Have met a couple of nice people on them - nothing that turned into actual friendships but at least it’s nice to have a chat to someone while out and about getting some fresh air.

I’ve also tried ADs and came out in a rash no matter which ones I tried. My DS tried them for a while and it did help him over a hump, but he ended up with terrible acne and then couldn’t stop taking them without bad side effects so it took a lot longer than he wanted to stop. If use ADs as a total last resort tbh.

*I’d use

@RoyKentsChestHair thank you and I’m sorry to hear you’re in a similar situation.
I quite enjoy my job and have no desire to change it at all. Occasionally meet up with others on Facebook groups or go on dates but no meaningful connections

I get this. I’m wondering If I need to speak with my GP about ADs. I’m ok but feel I’m not living as I want to live. I realise to make friends I need to ‘get out and about’ but there’s not so much around here that particularly interests me.

Thanks for the replies and sorry to hear others feel a similar way.
I sometimes crave company but then don’t want the effort of being near people - 2 conflicting voices.

Oh yes I can totally relate to that tbh! My current job is very isolated and I feel desperately lonely since splitting with my DP last year but I’ve just got a new job in a busy office environment and I’m somewhat dreading it! Still I’ll appreciate the quiet times at the weekend all the more.

So hard when I hear about other’s seeing family & friends at the weekend or for support with things

It’s tricky when the kids are older and doing their own things at the weekend too. I think I used to hide behind mine a bit but now that they’re teens it really is just me most of the time. Wish I had some advice but at least I can offer solidarity!