What can I expect from Counseling? Is my experience typical?

[Jewel1968]

I have started some counseling and wondered if what I am experiencing is typical.
So it is on zoom so not ideal. I basically ramble on about my concerns and they say very little. I have a feeling my situation is not that common. I know counselors are meant to listen but I was expecting some probing questions that might make me think.

Don't want to say too much about what bothers me as it might be outing but it isn't that odd .

I am only 2 sessions in so perhaps this is normal...

Should I ask the counselor questions e.g. do you think this behaviour is X or Y

The Counsellor will let you share and perhaps ‘get everything off your chest’ in the first 2-3 sessions but then ask you certain questions which, hopefully, help you to think a little differently about your concerns. The questions tend to help reveal what is going on at a much deeper level - it can help a client with some realisations and “light bulb” moments that can create a shift in their thinking.

Hope this helps, that’s it in a nutshell.

It does. Thanks

Are you paying for the counselling? Did you choose the online rather than in person? Are they well qualified, eg BACP?

Paying in the sense it is part of a health scheme I pay for. I think they are qualified but I had no choice over zoom

It's important for the counsellor to get a good sense of you and what's going on. That in itself is harder over zoom, body language tells a lot and that is restricted online. However, there is a lot of importance to the therapeutic relationship. If this person doesn't feel right to you after a few more sessions, politely request to be transferred to someone else.

They're usually pretty quiet for the first few sessions and they won't interrupt you while you're talking.

I thought my therapist didn't like me at first because he didn't really speak but actually he was just a quiet, reserved person and wasn't speaking because he was getting the measure of me and my situation. But I really thought he was just silently judging me.

Having known him a lot longer now, he is pretty free with the advice and the poker face has given way to a wicked sense of humour. Your counsellor may just be a quiet person and is simply giving you her full attention while you talk.

I think sometimes we're so used to being given half attention or outright ignored that we forget what it's like to have someone actually focus on what we're saying.

That makes sense.