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Mental health

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Original poster

Dealing with stopping breastfeeding

16 replies

Hsmum21 · 28/01/2022 19:47

My DDS is coming up to 7 months and I'm getting increasingly anxious about giving up breastfeeding. I'm planning on breastfeeding for as long as I can before it becomes strange and I'd like to of stopped all day feeds at least by the time I'm back at work in May/ June.

The thought of stopping breastfeeding makes me feel so so sad I can't bare to think about it. I know that I can't do it forever and naturally it will need to stop but I'm really struggling with it and can't help but cry when I think about it. I feel like our bond will be broken and he'll become detached from me.

Anyone else going through the same and how are you coping with it?

OP posts:

Ijustneedtosleep21 · 28/01/2022 19:50

Then don't stop til you're ready? I went back to work at 12m PP, fed til 16m and just dropped the last feed when I was ready.

Sodiit · 28/01/2022 19:51

Your child has so many wonderful moments ahead that you'll share with them. When they want to give you a kiss, when they want to hug you, and so many others. The bond is there and so is the love, both ways. I promise you there's so many other parts of being a mum that bring that same closeness. Take care

AliceW89 · 28/01/2022 19:56

To allay your fears, bond is about so much more than how a baby is fed. Reading your post though, the only person putting limits on how long you breastfeed for is you. There is nothing strange about extended breastfeeding. You can feed in the day when you are around and not when you are at work, your supply will be well settled by then. It’s obviously causing you significant anxiety, so my advice would be take the self imposed limits off.

Twizbe · 28/01/2022 20:01

It's great you want to feed as long as you can.

I fed my youngest until 17 months when she decided to stop. It was sad as I'd have liked to go to closer to 2.

Have you recently dropped some feeds due to weaning? Changes in the amount of feeding can produce hormone changes that impact mood. Be warned that when you stop completely there is a big hormone crash. One of the many joys of pregnancy and birth.

Tomlettegregg · 28/01/2022 20:05

I breastfed for 3 months and my daughter is incredibly attached now at 9 months. Breastfeeding does form a bond but there's many other ways to feel connected that don't involve it.

Eloraa · 28/01/2022 20:16

Love, you don’t have to stop! You can feed before and after nursery, and you little one will still love it. It’s a great way to reconnect with them after a day away.

This far in your supply will be fine.

I went back to work almost FT at 10 months, and fed till just before 2 x

Wednesdayafternoon · 28/01/2022 20:20

You don't have to stop OP, don't pressure yourself to stop because of society telling you it's weird... it's not weird. It's nutritious, comforting, helpful, accessible, kind and loving. It's also recommended by who for 24 months. Unless baby will showing you they want to stop you really don't have to ♥️

AcceptCookies · 28/01/2022 20:24

One of mine wouldn't give it up til almost 3! It was getting past ridiculous! But it was only at bedtime, and they slept through, and made it through the day without needing it, so it wasn't a ball and chain. And they could go to sleep without it, if I wasn't there. But yes, don't overthink it :) once they're done, it'll feel right to stop. You'll know when they want to stop. If you want to continue, just keep offering at times that suit you. Like after work, before work, bedtime, whatever works for you, and you'll get a new routine. Panic not :) and your bond won't break or lessen once the feeding is over. As PP say, there are a million other wonders coming your way :)

milkieway · 28/01/2022 20:26

You don't have to stop until you're ready to

it's completely natural to continue breastfeeding your baby and going back to work doesn't have to be an obstacle

www.laleche.org.uk/working-and-breastfeeding/

AcceptCookies · 28/01/2022 20:27

(And to clarify, it was only one of mine that kept going til 3 years, the others were more like 18-24m, so it's not going to necessarily be that if you're willing to keep going that you'll end up with a breastfeeding older child! My long feeder was the unusual one in the family. But probably quite normal elsewhere in the world)

Flittingaboutagain · 28/01/2022 20:28

You don't need to stop for years and years yet if you and little one are happy to carry on with morning, evening, bedtime and/or night feeds...loads of options and the body will adjust to whatever you want it to.

I do know what you mean though, I have read a quote from an infant breastfeeding specialist that said be prepared that for many women, breastfeeding is hard to start and heartbreaking to stop. It can feel like a bittersweet grieving process.

OakRowan · 28/01/2022 20:30

It doesn't become strange, there isn't a looming deadline for you, you or your child might find a natural stopping point on your own, your milk might go because you get pregnant again, baby/toddler might stop for no reason, or you gradually night wean first then feed in the day less often as they get older, they might ask less often, down to mornings and bedtimes, or any many million varieties of transition of it, you change together. Anytime is OK to carry on until.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/01/2022 20:31

Carry on as long as you both want to! I never planned how long I’d do it but she’s well into being 2 and shows no sign of giving up.

Some people think it’s strange from birth, others when they have teeth, eat solids, can talk. Who gives a crap? Your baby, your boobs, only you get to decide.

Beamur · 28/01/2022 20:32

Any amount of breast feeding is good for your baby.
If you want to continue when you go back to work, you could. It's a lovely way to rebond with your baby after a day at work. Boobs adjust remarkably well.

whoknew23 · 28/01/2022 20:36

I feel the same.

My husband asked me today how I'd feel stopping and I don't want to stop at all.

I had a goal of 6 months that I would be happy with , then I've changed to a year but even that seems so close (7 month old ad well).

User0ne · 28/01/2022 20:38

I don't know of any bf 10yr olds and the vast majority are well attached to their respective parents so I think you can legitimately write off that concern.

More pragmatically if you want day feeds to have stopped by may/June you need to be implementing a planned reduction probably from march - depending on what you mean by "day feeds*.

I've returned to work 3 times after dc - all bf- and would start by reducing feeds in the middle of the day. Slowly dropping feeds (replacing with snacks or a breast milk substitute). It'll also help to reduce breast discomfort when you do return to work. You'll need to be quite strict when you initially drop feeds but once your back at work you'll probably find that DC can feed during the day quite happily at weekends and go without during the week with no issues. The key is to prevent a sudden change re bf.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Ps maybe you want to unpick a bit what you mean by "before it becomes strange*. It sounds like social pressure to me (though I may be wrong) and if you stop for that reason I suspect you'll always feel negatively about it. You might be surprised at how long it feels "natural" for if you aren't worried about what other people think

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