I'm so angry and hate everyone

[Midnightfeasts]

Is it normal to feel contempt and hate for everyone, particularly official type people like nurses, employment advisors etc, I'm worried I'm going to get sanctioned by the DWP because I can't control my anger and having arguments with anyone really. I also want to deregister from my GP's and not have any doctor at all but be completely on my own physical health wise. I have my first appointment for high level CBT next week and I don't know what I'm going to say. Can anyone else relate.

Anger is a natural response, but whether it is proportionate is another matter. Have you worked out why you feel anger towards these people?

Also I did contact the police about an incident with my ex partner a few months ago, and all of a sudden I was getting offers of help and support from all kinds of agencies. This is after refusing help and 'going it alone' for years as I have really bad trust issues. Part of me knows I probably do need help but another part of me resents it and wants the help to fail so I can be proved right that no one understands and they are all just below contempt really. So it does fail probably because of my awful attitude.

@CorrBlimeyGG Well I think it is obviously to do with my childhood and being abused and neglected, and then my whole adult life has just been one bad experience after another really. I mean I could probably write a book, there's so much.

It sounds like you've had some really difficult experiences that (understandably) make you insecure and scared. Do you have access to secondary mental health services (the community mental health team)? Ask about psychodynamic psychotherapy. That would help you explore and unravel the things that have happened in the past.

@CorrBlimeyGG Thank you, I did ask to be referred to secondary mental health but they bounced it back to the GP and so I have had to refer myself to the IAPT. I am now about to start the high level CBT but I think I'm going to start arguing with the therapist and sabotage it, if you see what I mean.

I was a "Karen" for years, I had PTSD from domestic violence.

Mental illness can turn you into someone you don't recognise or like. CBT is given to everyone for everything, it can be like removing an appendix when the patient has a broken leg so make sure you're getting the right treament.

I was assessed for PTSD before Christmas and told I didn't have it and had probably self healed.