Signed off work - feeling guilty

[messyhairdontcarex]

Hi has anyone else been signed off work for work related stress?

I am a nurse and had a complete mental breakdown at work so I ended up being signed off until I feel 'fit' to go back, it's been a month now..

the thought of going back fills me with dread as I know what is to come and I actually don't think I'm right for the job anymore.

I've started looking for new jobs and I have a few interviews lined up in nurse related jobs... that still pay well but won't be based on wards and may suit better.

Would I be awful to hand my notice in while I'm off sick and start a new job? I just know going back to this current job is going to send me through a downward spiral and really wanna concentrate on feeling better.

Also any advice for not feeling guilty about being off? Knowing how the wards etc are just now under staffed I feel a huge guilt of being off but at the same time I am going through a process and trying to 'find myself' again.

Did you personally defund the NHS and mismanage the pandemic?

I am assuming the answer is NO then you have no reason to feel guilty at all.

You have been signed off work by a doctor because you are not well and should not be in work.

If one of your patients insisted on trying to work when they were ill what would you tell them?

You need to take your own (and doctor's) advice.

If your fit note runs out soon and you still feel this way then get it extended.

Give yourself time to make a reasoned decision.

Take care

I agree with the above advice. Your mental health is on the floor, listen to it. You can't change staffing issues at your hospital on an individual level. I don't know what your experience of breakdown has been but assuming you were suicidal and thinking of ending life I think the wake up call of that needs to be honoured and listened to. Do what you need to do to function. Change jobs if you think that will help. Don't return to nursing to repeat what you have just been through, your life is more precious than that. Guilt is completely normal emotion to feel but don't let it take over everything. Just give it space and let it go.

I forgot to mention this earlier that guilt is a trap that kind and giving people (like you) fall into because mean people like to take advantage of them (sometimes carelessly and sometimes purposely).

The only thing you can do is to say "I AM NOT FALLING INTO THE GUILT TRAP BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY FOR"

I would definitely change jobs. It is rare that people go back to the job that caused the problem and thrive. However, those who find the right job for them do so much better.

Guilt over this is pointless and stops you doing the right thing for you. It doesn't help anyone else either so try to focus on your bright new future.

Are you getting sick pay? If you are then you can continue to get that, so don't hand your notice in until you find a new job.

Hello, I have a bit of a similar situation.

I work for the NHS and my department is meant to be staffed with 3 people at all times. Most of the time it has just been me as my colleagues are frequently off sick.

I became physically ill at the start of the year and have been off since. I think it has done me a lot of good mentally not being in work. I was considering going back next week but I've had a lot of emotional issues this week that have completely floored me (spent all of yesterday in bed crying) and am thinking about extending my sick leave.

I feel guilty but I became physically unwell because I was so mentally run down and it will just keep coming in cycles until I take proper rest.

You should not feel guilty. Your own health is also important. You can't care for other people if you are exhausted/unwell yourself.

It sounds like you have made your decision and will be better suited to a different role.

Extend your sick leave.

Successive governments have not funded the NHS properly and Brexit added to the difficulty of finding/retaining enough staff. It is not your fault that our healthcare is in such a mess....

I was signed off from work in October with stress. I'm a health care worker too though not a nurse.

The first thing I'd like to say to you is YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. People said this to me and I didn't believe it, I thought I'm just not cut out for this, other people seem to manage fine, my patients and colleagues are better off without me - that's the stress/depression talking.

After my first month off I still felt like I'd never get better, I was having visions of never being able to work again and applying for benefits. But then I started medication and counseling and slowly slowly things did get better.

All in all I took 10 weeks off work, in reflection probably went back a little too soon as my first few weeks back were rough, but it's now been a few months and I feel so much better. I actually enjoy my work now, most days.

I hope you start to feel better soon but please lose the guilt, it's not helpful to your recovery and it's not necessary x

I am also NHS and signed off sick and the guilt is off the scale. I'm off with an unexplained physical problem and am on a long waiting list to see a rheumatologist.

My anxiety is so much higher now I'm off and I feel so bad about it. Almost every day I imagine my bosses face and it makes me shudder. Also grateful for tips to manage it.

Also I'm finding that it doesn't help that nearly every news bulletin mentions NHS staffing at the moment. I would try to avoid watching the news.

Filter the news. Remember that you are seeing it through your own current distorted filter so it will hurt to read stuff like that. Don't do it. It doesn't apply directly to you. Take time to feel well. You work in the caring profession and your work is about helping others to feel better. Allow the same for yourself. Give yourself time.

Please don't do anything rash...
•Focus on your health first
•Take your sick pay
•If your sick pay goes to half you're entitled to new style Employment Support Allowance
•Take your time thinking of the future - health first
•Don't feel guilty. I have recently left teaching after a long period of sick pay. Teaching and nursing are similar in that the public often perceives them as 'caring' but burnout is real and there are many reasons why certain professions are not right for everyone. It does not mean you were not good enough.

You may have been an excellent nurse or an average nurse or not even average- but it really does not matter as the cost to your health is high.

I was an average, hard-working teacher and felt guilty at first for bring off work long-term but everything passes and you can be kinder to yourself as time goes on.

Take care and please don't make any quick decisions.

PS I just mean the caring image puts added pressure on individuals.

Take your time focusing on your health and wellbeing which sounds like what you need to prioritise. xx

Hi so sorry you feeling bad, I’m in a similar situation (but different job). Signed off yesterday and they started me on sertraline… I’m also considering resigning while on sick leave