Crushing depression - pls send me your inspirational stories!!

[ThisIsHowYouDoIt]

Hi all. I have serious crushing depression. I have a very difficult marriage that I have struggled with for five years. I have two young children and an intense but awesome full time job. I think the years of arguing have been so traumatic that I’ve slipped into mega depression, which means that on a daily basis I spend hours lying down either crying hysterically or staring at the ceiling. I basically get the children up in the morning, do my minimum amount of work to maintain the appearance of being ok, do the bedtime routine, then wait till the evening when I continue the whole crying on sofa thing. My life is taken up by work, children and surviving/hiding the depression. I’ve had so much NHS CBT and private psychotherapy- it has not worked! I have taken antidepressants in the past but find I just got used to them after a while and the effects reduces. I would love to go to the gym and see friends because I know i will feel better, but I cant leave the house to do so.

I have an appointment with a consultant psychiatrist on Friday. It looks like he can prescribe all the usual drugs as well as rTMS. Has anyone got advice on how I can get the most out of seeing him? Has anyone had success with a psychiatrist that they could share?

I feel like I was originally depressed because of my circumstances- marriage problems, lockdown etc, but then it got so bad that it’s progressed into clinical depression. I’m not medical so I have no idea if that makes sense! I’m open to taking whatever medication he prescribes.

Thank you - really appreciate you reading this far!

Depression can and does say motivation and self esteem greatly. Why not start by getting little things that make you feel nice in yourself, little treats....Take time with yourself and ask....what would I like to feel like....what could help me to get feeling the way I want to...what is it I really want..... therapies are not for everyone and 1 size does not fit all.....art is a great way of expressing how we feel....you don't have to be an artist...just let out what you want on paper or canvas.....write a letter to yourself...what advice would you give?....walk in nature...if you like that....ride a bicycle....listen to music...learn to play something.....when your mind is immeresed in doing something you find engaging....you empty your mind and this provides head space and sudden release...whatever it may be...all the best

Thanks - you’re totally right, and you phrase it so well.

Can I join in? Crushing depression too so you are not alone! Too much to do not enough money, and am wondering if Dp is somehow contributing.

I think medication can be key to pulling you into a headspace where you're better able to do the other work that will help you get well.

I'd be going to that meeting, as you are, with an open mind about medication. Tell the Dr your concern about it, namely that the effect 'wore offs after a time

Ultimately there is no one thing that will help but rather lots of little things that work for you. I slowly clawed my way out of the worst of it by trying a few things and sticking with what helped. I talked to my self a lot. I said a lot of 'well dones' for the tiniest thing. Showered before 10am? Well done me. Put the milk back rather then left it out. Well done. Etc. I also started to use different language when talking to myself. Swapped 'I started into space all evening' to 'My brain needed to shut down for a bit tonight, that's a useful mechanism sometimes but tomorrow I'll try something else'. Or 'I feel shit today' with 'Serotonin levels feel low today'.

The final talking to myself thing I did was validation. No trying to tell myself it wasn't OK to feel this but rather saying 'this is a totally normal and valid response to the circumstances'. That made a world of difference.