Finally admitted to DH i think i've got PND...doctor next.

[TinselGrrrlWith2Boys]

Finally came clean to DH about the thoughts i have (that i'm not a good mother, that kids would sometimes be better with someone else) that i'm unhappy with how i am towards them sometimes. I also seem to have headaches alot- before the kids are even up sometimes. I'm grumpy and terse with DH, for no reason, because he's great. I'm not the mother i thought i'd be, or the mother i want to be 70% of the time.

I feel a bit better for it.

So, with that hurdle out of the way, it's off to the doctors on Monday. And i'm scared because i can't shake this silly feeling that they will think i can't cope or don't love my children

Well if they do, see another GP.

Good luck, it is shite but it will get better.

Well done for having the courage to say something. I really hope this is the first step on a brighter path (doesn't that sound like a Hollywood film?).

Did DH react OK?

yeah. he basically said i should go to the doctors. i had to ask him for a hug though

Tinsel, that is a totally understandable but indeed silly feeling . By admitting your feelings you make very clear how well you are caring for your children and how much you love them.

Unless DH is not normally a huggy person he may just have been a bit caught up in thoughts/worries when you told him.

Possibly madmouse...he said he thought i wanted space and he couldn't win whatever he did.

I feel better for just saying how i felt out loud though, and i've ordered some omega 3 and b vitamin complex to help boost me too. Going to make sure i get more exercise and tell him if i feel bad / worse.

i actually feel relieved now.

'he couldn't win whatever he did'

Man-speak for' I can't solve your problem and I hate it that I can't'

TinselGrrl,

Good luck with the GP tomorrow. I feel for you as I have 2 boys and have also just admitted to feeling depressed to my DH and am going to GP on Wednesday, also bricking it! I read on one site to remember that your GP will have seen hundreds of women in the same situation, obvious, but it made me feel better.

It's somehow worse when DH is brilliant, I wouldn't have him any other way but it makes me feel soooooo guilty that I'm a total shambles!

Glad you feel relieved.

good luck jellyrolly

i didn't go because i felt 'ok' Monday, but i'm going to see someone this week. I've noticed alcohol is affecting me badly too- i feel especially low the day after drinking- don't feel good today at all.

having a poo day today, which isn't helped by a clingy DS2 and whining / crying DS1. Thank god DH is here today.

I'm having a really bad day. Irritable,crying, keep thinking kids would be better off elsewhere because i'm horrible.

I rang my parents to say Happy New Year and as usual they were too busy to talk to me, so my father said he had to go. (They run their own business and are getting ready to go on hols too. They never ring me, i always ring them. They rarely make time to visit, didn't come at Xmas, didn't even call....)I felt really rejected and low and started crying. My mother came on the line and i just started sobbing and told her i felt depressed. She said i had to see HV and that lots of women feel like i do, that i'm not a bad mother, and nobody will think i don't love them.

Tried ringing HV but got answer machine, and i've not met her yet (new to surgery) so didn't leave message. What do you say, 'we've never met but i'm depressed?!'

Have put on In the Night Garden DVD for DS1 and DS2 is miraculously sleeping in his chair (as opposed to clinging to me)and it's less than 1hr until DH home. Thank god