To want people to leave me alone

[Lookforwardtosummer]

Hello,
Not sure what's wrong with me at the moment. Don't really feel depressed as such but I do have anxiety quite bad. I'm very content with just my husband, 2DCs, dog and also immediate family (mum, dad) but find that I just don't have the headspace for anyone else. Friends just irritate me trying to contact me and send me silly jokes and mundane chit chat. I must sound a horrible person (I'm really not). I work part time and do the school run and cannot wait to just get home and relax. If I take the kids to after school activities, I can't be bothered with chatting to the other mums while waiting for the kids, I just go and sit in my car and wait for the DC to come out. I feel very antisocial and hostile but I'd never actually be rude or mean to anyone. Last Saturday I had planned to take the DC out for the day to a country park which we were all really looking forward to. Got there with a picnic, having a great time just the three of us when suddenly we bumped into a lady I know from the school and her DC and they tagged along with us. I absolutely hated it and it kind of ruined the day for me, as awful as that sounds. I just felt that it changed the dynamic of our little family day even though this lady is nice enough and I feel bad for feeling this way. Of course I never said anything to her as I'd hate to hurt someone's feelings.

It's like I'm burned out in a social sense, it's hard to explain. Can't be arsed with people! Anyone else relate?

Hi - I really relate to your feelings. I am another one who cba with small talk or feeling obliged to entertain people. I can't work out whether it's anxiety. It's not that I don't like to talk but I'm not into superficial small talk. I often find that people are overly nosey and I get fed up of trying to give polite answers to intrusive and questions.

I would really like to to living as a monk in silence for a few days.

@Touty
I hear you!!

I said to my DH tonight, I feel like turning my phone off and just having a spare phone and only allowing him, my parents, sister, and the DCs school to have the number, as well as my workplace . That way I'd be contactable by the important people who I couldn't go without being in touch with. The rest of them (so called friends, acquaintances, whoever) could happily piss off!
I can engage in superficial chit chat for a few minutes but I also find that I back off as soon on as someone tries to forge a deeper connection with me. A mum at the school is trying to be a bit pushy and I've actually found myself trying to avoid her (not in a way where she would notice and be offended). It's a fine line between not wanting to hurt people but keeping them at arms length. I've always suspected I've got Aspergers, but never been formally diagnosed.

I make huge efforts to get the DC out of the house at weekends and visit parks and places like that so they have a social life and are happy. If it weren't for my DC and dog and my job I'd be a hermit! They force me to get out which in a way is good I suppose. It's just the people I have to face when I get out there!

I'm exactly the same & was diagnosed with Autism 2 years ago.

sounds like you are an introvert.
and you are entitled to be.
there is nothing wrong with deciding to give your precious time and attention to those whom you love, and love you, ie the inner circle, and not fritter away time on peripheral people.
i think it's a matter of finding ways of side-stepping them.
i find just speaking less is quite effective at keeping most people at bay.
keep your own counsel. do not share opinions, or thoughts, feelings with outer circlers. the idea about the phone is a good one.
continue to be true to yourself.
i wish you well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you feel. It doesn't mean you have autism, 🙄, or that you're mean or selfish. You just want your private time to be spent with people you actually care to be around. You have nothing to feel bad about.

Thanks for responding.
The thing is at the moment that I really am void of empathy for other people's trivial problems and niggles. I only have true emotion for my child, husband, parents and dog. When other people try to tell me about something about them I just want to say "oh ffs get a grip". I find I have infinite amounts of empathy with animals but humans severely limited. I bet a sound a right cold-hearted so and so!
Don't get me wrong, if it's something serious like illness/car accident/bereavement then I have sympathy of course, with absolutely anyone. But for more trivial matters I can just stonewall it.

That is what has led me to believe that I'm quite possibly on th autistic spectrum , the issue with empathy

OP, were you always like this, or is it just since the pandemic and lockdown?
Quite a few people are finding it hard to socialise again in real life, after spending long periods only seeing people online, working from home, and having no social events to attend.
You may or may not be autistic, but you need to be able to assert boundaries rather than meekly go along with situations that are stressing you. Tell people that you don’t feel up to conversation, or want time alone, etc.
Even Jesus boated across to the far side of the sea of Galilee when he couldn’t face any more crowds of people!
Work out what is your comfortable level of contact. Then maybe just try one extra small interaction to that and see how it goes. You will either gradually get back up to “normal” pre lockdown levels of socialising, or you may find you never want that sort of human contact with others outside your family circle. And that is ok, if it’s what you genuinely want.

Hello, thank you. I've always been like this to an extent but I feel it's got worse these past few months. I literally dropped my DC at school this morning, got back today my car as fast as I could to quickly get home the dog where I feel comfortable. Luckily I'm off work today. How sad do I sound?

*get home to the dog