Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Bpd?

2 replies

XBaconandpineappleX · 24/01/2022 12:33

Boyfriends got a few different sides to his personality and I've always found myself feeling abit lost or confused. We have a brilliant connection. I liked him instantly. But as the months have gone on and I've gotten to know him I've noticed different patterns.

He's allover the place in regards to his ex. He ended up remaining friends with her (split 3 years ago) but it's like he's still untangling it. His thoughts about her seem defensive. Bitter. He's taken along time to see her part in the split. But he still seems affected by her and he's clinging to this we are friends but he is High and low towards her. Sometimes it's like he can't stand her. Other times he's glad they have remained in touch.

Mood swings. They are up and down. He can't seem to settle once upset. He says hurtful words. He shuts down. Pushes you away. Then he calms down and talks and he is genuinely distressed by his behaviour but says he just has to get out of a situation when it's emotionally scaring him.

He has alot of heavy emotions around social media and how people can focus to much on that and it creates alot of pain and trouble. I feel abit wary when I'm picking my phone up now and I know his ex made him particularly stressed with her online activities.

He's depressed alot and his self image can change alot. He hates himself but has learned to like himself because of me. He's gaining weight now and has quit drink over a year ago.

He's openily told me he had therapy once and they said he suffers from fear of abandonment and can't process loosing people and grief in a normal way.

He's always asking if I'm OK. He's always checking if I need stuff at his. He gets worried I'm feeling a certain way and convinces himself I'm upset.

He's just generally allover the place and doesn't seem to ever settle and relax for long.

OP posts:
Penguinno · 24/01/2022 15:41

I would take a look at all the BPD Bin the Diagnosis threads on social media and I wouldn't be in a relationship where I felt the need to diagnose anyone with a mental health disorder without being professional qualified to do so.

Latara · 25/01/2022 18:41

The BPD label is a real stigma once you have it. Your boyfriend may have some real mental health issues that he needs help with or he may just be a bit moody but please don't try to self diagnose him with BPD.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page