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Can't wait for the day to end....

2 replies

buzzlightandbeyond · 28/12/2007 16:27

Hi everybody,

This is my first post, however, I have been reading everybody else's topics a lot over the past few weeks since I have been diagnosed with PND.

I have a 2 month year old who is an absolute dream of a baby, a loving husband albeit away quite a lot with work, no financial worries, nice friends especially new mommies. There really shouldn't be any reason for this to happen except for the fact that I had a difficult birth resulting in a caesarian and my baby refused to breastfeed, something I had my heart really set on. Unfortunately, I am an all or nothing person so I didn't dry my milk gradually which resulted in an enormous hormonal upheaval. Also, I experienced a couple of months of depression last year after two of my friends died which I suppose could be a contributary factor.

On the bad days I feel like I can't wait for the day to end and I don't want the next one to begin the same way. Feelings of guilt towards my baby and my husband because I have lost the confidence to be a good mother. It's the one thing in life I wanted to be good at being seeing as my own childhood was a disgrace.

I cry almost constantly on those bad days and repeatedly tell my baby I am sorry she hasn't got a happier mother. There is no doubt in my mind that I wanted her and love her but I now wish it would all go away including her. It's a type of anguish and helplessness I have never felt before.

I worry that when my husband is away, I will break down to such an extent that I won't be able to look after my baby. We even had my mother in law to stay for a couple of weeks all the way from Italy because we don't have any family here anymore. I have never had a fear of being on my own before.

I am lucky to have a very supportive health visitor and GP, who has prescribed Citalopram and has written to my husband's company to advise that he only be away a maximum of 2 to 3 nights. However, it seems to have fallen on deaf ears as he has 8 days away in one stint in January. I have been taking 20 mg of Citalopram for the past three weeks but I still get what I call 'my episodes' when everything is the end of the world. I always thought it was mental but then, why do I feel completely normal somedays then all of a sudden I go downhill? The change is frightening almost like being on a rollercoaster.

Has anything else worked for anybody apart from medication?
I feel like I am falling to pieces and have no control over it. I really don't want my baby to suffer for it.

I would really appreciate some advice.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 28/12/2007 16:37

Have you asked for counselling from your GP? I had PND after all 4 of my babies and my husband was forbidden to go away for several years cos I couldn't cope. He wasn't happy but family comes first.
I went to every toddler group and saw lots of friends cos I couldn't bear to be in the house alone.

buzzlightandbeyond · 28/12/2007 16:45

My GP told us she could only write a recommendation to my husband's company so it isnt enforceable.

The one thing I make a real effort at doing is meeting up with other mums as often as I can. I suppose the evenings and nights are the worst really. The irony is, I used to love my own company.

I will look into the counselling although I had some last year and they will only see you on the same day, same time each week which is almost impossible with my husband being away and the baby to look after. I don't really know anyone well enough who I can confide in about this to look after her if I need to attend appointments. Really lovely advice though, thank you.

OP posts:
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