I think DP needs to seek some help, how do I persuade him to seek it

[bogie]

DP just had a major breakdown, completely out of the blue, it started at dinner with our friends and he got worse as the day went on.

We we’re eating and chatting as we were meeting our friends the following day and I asked him which car we would be using to go out in the morning. He suddenly started shouting ‘we we wouldn’t go in x car would we there’s no room!’ Calling me stupid and getting angry (totally out of character he is so chilled usually we’ve been together 20 years and he’s never done anything like this). It was very awkward the whole table was looking at us but I just brushed it off and as we were nearly finished thought we’d just get home and everything would be ok. He was sober we weren’t drinking so that isn’t a factor.

When we got home he just got irate, but he couldn’t tell me why he was so angry at me?! He accused me of showing off in front of our friends. But couldn’t explain how or what I had said/done. He said he didn’t know what I said but knows I had said something… He then told me I always do this (I’m still unaware what it is he is angry about) so I said to him if he is so unhappy I don’t want him to feel that he is trapped here and he is free to go if he doesn’t want us to be together. He then started screaming no you fuck off and pack your bags he screamed this about 20 times in a row. Then he was saying he wanted to kill himself. Then he was apologetic for about 20 seconds saying he didn’t mean what he had said then screaming again.

This whole thing is completely not him or how he has ever been totally out of character. I never once raised my voice and I was trying to keep him calm but he was making absolutely no sense. Each time I tried to ask him anything he just screamed ‘I don’t know I don’t know what I want I don’t know what to do.’ He seemed manic putting his coat on then off then on then off. Going to the car coming back repeatedly. His breathing was erratic.

He’s stayed in bed today I don’t know what to do, I can’t have that happening again and I know he wasn’t in his right mind. I am weary of even trying to speak to him incase he starts again. What on earth do I do?

Could be anything from a UTI to a brain injury. Do you have friends or family that can go round and help you persuade him to go to A&E? Or call your GP?

If he gets violent don’t be afraid to call the police.
If he doesn’t calm down I’d ring 111, but if that will wind him up call 999.
It sounds like he needs a mental health assessment.

That’s what I was thinking, I will call my mum, she is more likely to be able to get him there that I am I feel. The kids are here too so I’ll sort for them to go somewhere first so they don’t have to witness anymore of this.

@Sarahlou63

Could be anything from a UTI to a brain injury. Do you have friends or family that can go round and help you persuade him to go to A&E? Or call your GP?

Yep, I think it sounds a lot more like something like this.

I’d call 111 for advice, but I would absolutely want him in A&E, bloods and neuro scan if the bloods don’t show anything obvious.

@bogie

That’s what I was thinking, I will call my mum, she is more likely to be able to get him there that I am I feel. The kids are here too so I’ll sort for them to go somewhere first so they don’t have to witness anymore of this.

Please come back and tell us how you get on. Fingers crossed he gets help.

Quick Update. My mum spoke to him via the phone over the weekend
He has been to the GP and been signed off work this morning and came in holding a prescription so I’m assuming they have given him something to help.

I have slept on the sofa the last 3 nights and I still can’t bring myself to speak to him, every time I go to do so I just hear and see everything he did and I get to angry/upset to speak. He hasn’t made any effort to speak to me either. I feel as though he believes that I’m the cause of his problems so I think I might have to look at moving out for a while. I don’t think I’m responsible in any way but if he doesn’t see that for himself then maybe he will resent me? Will space be what he needs?

I’m still just contemplating what to do next but so relieved that he is getting help.
Thanks for the support what would we do without MN

Ok, so he needs to a take the medication. Some people don’t want to take it.
Then he needs to give it time to work, weeks and even months.
Hopefully this is him taking action to put things right,