Struggling with 2 kids

[jojolondon81]

I have a 5mo DS and 3yo DD. Tbh ever since DS arrived in August I've been struggling on and off. I had an infection post-c-section which made the immediate postnatal period tricky, and I felt very low for a while - but it passed once my physical recovery improved so i was never diagnosed with PND. Lately I feel, not depressed exactly - I get on with things, see friends, and have moments of enjoyment - but unhappy a lot of the time. I love both my babies so much, but I often feel like a bad mum as there is so much I don't enjoy. My 3yo DD is very challenging at the moment - constant tantrums, defiance, everything is a battle. She is in nursery quite a bit, so I'm lucky there, but I find myself dreading the times I have to look after them both as it feels impossible to meet both their needs. I'm always tired as DS wakes a lot, and I often wake feeling anxious about the day ahead. Frequently feel like I just want to be on my own. My partner is a good dad and supportive but our relationship has suffered - it currently feels like we just "get through" the days, with very little enjoyment. Can anyone else relate? Does it get better?! Please be kind ... I know I'm lucky in so many ways but it feels hard to admit these feelings to friends at times.

I'm guessing a lot of people can relate - small children are really hard work! I tried to keep a diary when my DD was a baby - just a few sentences each day, but often all I wrote was "You got through it!" Insufficient sleep makes everything so much worse, too. It will get better with time but it's also worth talking to your doctor. Sending you a big hug!

This was me a year ago. It takes time but it gets easier. I've got no tips but you just have to survive each day at a time those early stages. Try and get a couple of hours to yourself if you can find anyone to help you x

@jojolondon81 I’m so surprised more people didn’t reply to your message as I feel like so many people must be in the same boat. I literally could have written your post, esp the bit about the defiant 3 yr old. Today I took both kids to a paint pottery cafe and soft play, and ended up forcibly removing my 3 yr old as she simply wouldn’t leave, as all the calm and put together mums looked on disapprovingly. I feel exhausted and low despite recently starting sertraline seratonin boosters. I recommend spiking to the gp about whether it’s worth trying these, as I certainly feel less low and am ‘more playful’ according to those around me. It’s so hard, I hope things have improved and sending hugs and hopes it will improve!

@Sunshinehouse Thank you so much for your reply. And to the others who replied back in Jan, thank you too and apologies for not responding at the time. It's very comforting to know I'm not alone in this. My DD is now almost 4 and I would say things have become slightly easier, but she's still very defiant at times and resentful of the baby, and my DS is now walking/trying to climb everything, so some days feel very hard. That's interesting re sertraline - I've almost gone to the GP several times but then things seem to be brighten and I don't go. It's very up and down. Sending a big hug to everyone struggling with 2 - it can be so hard! X