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Mental health

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Original poster

My life is falling apart

10 replies

Rosebel · 14/01/2022 21:22

I really feel like I'm cracking up. My life is full of stress and it makes me so unhappy. The thought of work tomorrow really does make me feel like getting in the car and just driving in to a brick wall. Not to kill myself but just to hurt myself badly enough to have time off work.
Not that I can actually afford to be off work or I'd be signed off with stress. I'm looking for another job but it's a slow process.
It's not just work we're being kicked out of our house as the landlord wants to sell and have nowhere to go.
My husband annoys me because he refuses to go for promotion or a better paid job even though he moans about having no money.
I feel I've let my children down massively. One doing GCSEs, one with autism and one with development delay and I can't offer them the support and lifestyle they deserve.
Literally no point to this as no one can help me but have no one in real life to talk to. FML this shit is just too much.

OP posts:

Choosingtochange · 14/01/2022 21:24

I'm just offering a listening ear, I don't have much advice sorry. Sometimes life is overwhelming and you can't see the wood for the trees. Talk away...

Choosingtochange · 14/01/2022 21:31

Also, can you definitely not get signed off for stress or anxiety? Would your work still pay you? Do you have any family support for your kids to give you a bit of a break?

onedayiwillflyaway1 · 14/01/2022 21:36

@Choosingtochange

I'm just offering a listening ear, I don't have much advice sorry. Sometimes life is overwhelming and you can't see the wood for the trees. Talk away...

Im all ears too. Let's start with work, is there something specific tomorrow that is stressful? Obviously i know it's hard to too much detail.

Original poster

Rosebel · 14/01/2022 21:49

Work don't pay sick pay so it would be 5?days until I could get SSP. Just can't afford it. We do have family but none of them would be able to help with our youngest as we both have older parents who are not in great health and LO is typical toddler as in in to everything he shouldn't be.
Work is just stressful because of the targets (which very few people hit), how busy it is, how early I start, the pressure to do overtime. New team leader tomorrow which might be fine but will doubtless be someone else I have to explain my medical history to because apparently none of the management can ever exchange information with each other.
Work isn't really any worse tomorrow I just hate the job and zero support from management.

OP posts:

Choosingtochange · 14/01/2022 22:01

Work definitely sounds like a major factor with your stress and how hopeless you are feeling. Have you spoken to your doctor? The only reason I'm saying that is I've been feeling so overwhelmed and stressed over the past couple of years also. I don't know if you are on any medication. It's not for everyone and I was so sceptical at first but it's really helping me at the moment. It might make you feel calmer while you figure everything out

onedayiwillflyaway1 · 14/01/2022 23:00

A change of leadership is always unsettling especially with everything else you have to cope with. Have you been off sick recently? I only ask because you mentioned your medical history and the need for you to explain this to your new. If you have been did your previous team leader conduct a return to work meeting? Sorry for all the questions, I myself have been in a very stressful work and home life situation and when this happened simultaneously it was very hard to see the wood for the trees. Thankfully I got through I find most days now are less stressful, not completely stress free but definitely more manageable.

Choosingtochange · 14/01/2022 23:25

@Rosebel

I really feel like I'm cracking up. My life is full of stress and it makes me so unhappy. The thought of work tomorrow really does make me feel like getting in the car and just driving in to a brick wall. Not to kill myself but just to hurt myself badly enough to have time off work. Not that I can actually afford to be off work or I'd be signed off with stress. I'm looking for another job but it's a slow process. It's not just work we're being kicked out of our house as the landlord wants to sell and have nowhere to go. My husband annoys me because he refuses to go for promotion or a better paid job even though he moans about having no money. I feel I've let my children down massively. One doing GCSEs, one with autism and one with development delay and I can't offer them the support and lifestyle they deserve. Literally no point to this as no one can help me but have no one in real life to talk to. FML this shit is just too much.

Are you still ok Rosebel?

Wildblueorchid · 15/01/2022 14:53

Please feel you can keep talking here Rosebel. I know how hard it is having ND children being in a similar boat to you but added to that, money worries and the house issue is too much for anyone. My eldest is doing GCSEs too and I feel so bad that so much of my time is taken up with our youngest with severe GDD, then we too, have a middle one with suspected ADD.

It's so bloody hard, even the easy days are bloody hard. I gave up work to look after our youngest which we decided was the best and easiest for us as a family and we also decided to home educate all three of them! Of course this doesn't suit every family but by and large, it works for us.

I have days I just don't want to do it anymore. People always say, ah just get out for a walk, that'll cheer you up. Well yes but I can never just go for a walk because we'll always have our disabled child, that will always need care. And I thought babies and toddlers were hard work, it's nothing compared to this!

Do you get time out OP? I'm lucky in the sense that although my DH works his ass of all the time,he tries hard to give me time to get out of the house. We are both at breaking point but we are both on the same team which is the most important thing. Please, please keep talking xx

Original poster

Rosebel · 15/01/2022 21:10

I don't really get time out but tbf my husband doesn't either. Unless I count work but that's not time out just a different set of stress.
My DC2 is hard work, I love her so much but she's started having major meltdowns again as she can't deal with change and uncertainty but people don't understand that. At work I get told to leave my problems at home and I understand what they are saying and why but I can't.
I'm stressed all the time.
You would think my husband would get it but when I talk to him he just says don't think about it or it'll all work out and just shuts down the conversation.

OP posts:

FruHagen · 15/01/2022 21:59

I think you should do a few things

don't think of all the problems together. Together they are too much for anyone.

First get a new place to live sorted, continue working, forget your husband's lack of ambition and look at the good things about him.

Once you have somewhere to live take each remaining problem and think of something you can do for 15 minutes a day that makes each problem a bit smaller (not gone just smaller).

Focus on what you can change not what you can't.

You will find a new job.
You will be able to improve your children's lives through that.

You won't be able to change your husband's approach but you can change how it affects you.

Small steps done consistently is the key,

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