Just about to start an online training session which I haven't prepared for (should have done a 3 hour exercise beforehand). This is typical of me. Will have to wing it and make excuses, as always.
I always put things off to the last minute then make excuses, but when I do them, I find they weren't as difficult as I thought. I always think whatever it is is beyond me and I'll struggle. Sometimes things are a challenge, but often I'm capable of them. I also have ADHD.
I still think I fluked my degree and postgraduate qualification and pulled the wool over the examiners' eyes. Same with my professional body registration and other work I do. Projects, all of them, job applications, the lot, I beat myself up about not getting organised, not doing well enough. And then being a failure for not preparing in time.
Growing up, we had no good role model really, told to keep your head down and don't aim for anything. Parents very traditional, stick to what you know, that sort of thing. Always thought I would never get anywhere and even now I feel I'm a fraudster.
I don't have time or money for extensive counselling or therapy on this, but does anyone have any ideas on how I can stop doing this or at least mitigate it?
Thanks in advance.