Just feeling so lost :(

[OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]

Hi all,

I'm just feeling so lost. I suffer from cerebral palsy, and currently waiting for a possible fibromyalgia diagnosis. Currently waiting for an appointment with a neurologist.

My mental health has taken a complete dive. I just feel like dying. I started taking sertraline a few weeks ago, and I'm doing okay. It's still early days.

I just feel like I have no life at the moment. Every day I either spend either in pain or asleep. I just feel completely drained. My doctor won't give me a definite diagnosis, and I just feel like I'm just going round in circles. I can't plan anything. I'm currently studying for a professional qualification at college, and I haven't had any energy to do any coursework, which does upset me.

Sometimes I feel like dying and ending everything, just so I can stop the pain and endless limbo.

There's got to be more to life than this?

Hey, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. It sounds really tough and I totally get why you're struggling - that's a lot for anyone to deal with. Have you spoken to your gp about being referred for counselling of some kind at all? Or are you in a position to afford private therapy?
Life won't always be this way, and hopefully once you see a neurologist you can get some definite answers and work on managing or treating the conditions that you do have (I admittedly know very little about them). The situation you are in right now will pass eventually and things can get better but when you are in the midst of feeling this awful it can feel like there is no way out of it. But things change, time passes and there will be things to live for in your life, even if right now it doesn't feel that way. Do you have friends or family you can talk to honestly about how you're feeling as well?

really sorry to hear what you are having to go through.... sometimes we all go through struggles of all sorts which I think are really hard testing times.......

it's really good that you've articulated here so well what you are going through and feeling right now........ acknowledging this in itself and sharing with others how you feel is so important.

hope you find a good counselor to talk to. praying for you to feel better soon.... just remember you are not alone... there is a lot of help out there. take good care

Thank you both for your responses.

I live with my family (my mum is my carer) I do have friends but they work full time so I don't feel like I can just ring them up ❤️

I'm slowly losing patience with the GP dealing with my case. Her and her colleagues refuse to give me a definite diagnosis. It's just 'here's a referral to the hospital. Call us if gets worse.'

I'm worried by the time the hospital do deign to see me I'll end up in a wheelchair or dead.

It annoys me because my Nan was diagnosed with Polymyagia by a GP from the same partnership group, and given steroids and a plan to help her straight away.

I've been referred to counselling but can't get an appointment until April.