Help DP while in a depression

[starynight63]

Hi, my DP has suffered with anxiety and low mood for a number of years. The last 18 months or so his low mood has definitely worsened when he's feeling down & has been more open about the fact he's depressed (before he would never accept he may be depressed) he's been seeing a counsellor regularly & takes 40mg citalopram but his anxiety is still making every day life hard & im wondering if anyone can suggest things I could do to support him while he's in this latest depression. He's very quiet, drinking a lot in evenings, not wanting to get up in the morning as normal, snappy, withdrawn. I've spoken to him and asked if there's anything he needs/wants but he says no and has said he wants me to keep being affectionate etc (which is hard when he's so cold/withdrawn) but I'm obviously willing to try and hoping someone here may help with ideas. I've been encouraging him to start going to the gym again but he's not been for about 6 weeks now, I'm also making sure he's having good meals etc.

Thanks for taking the time to read, any advice would be really helpful.

No real advice but didn't want to read and run..... my husband had a several-months period of depression out of blue just before the pandemic. He was so sad and low and I couldn't do anything which made him feel better. I felt that all the domestic worries - and we had a lot at that time - kids, money, house etc - were all on me and it was pretty awful all round, definitely the lowest point of our marriage. In a weird way, Covid saved us; it made us look at the bigger picture, and WFH forced us together again, gave us more time together and made long, tiring days at work more bearable.
So 💐 for you and my best wishes for his recovery. You sound very supportive already. Just keep on loving him and when he's ready he'll hopefully emerge.

Ask him to read this book and also this one

Both by men, both dealing with mental health and empowerment.

Has he had a review of his medication lately? I was on citroplam by one Dr, had a review after a month and Dr said cos of the anxiety side of my depression making me not sleep he recommended Mirtazapine. Was going along nicely then had panic attacks for for a week and now I take Propanol as and when needed. Might be an idea to go on NHS website and take at look. If he hasn’t had a review recently I’d definitely ask for another. As long as he is honest with how bad things are for him he’ll get the right help.