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What a life......I'm sooooo depressed!

9 replies

pinkroses · 16/11/2004 16:38

Hi. I haven't posted on here for a while, but I need to get things off my chest now. I feel like I am cracking up.....sorry, this may be long!

As most problems in my life...this is another to do with MIL! She has always hated me because i took her son away from her. She has been a cow to me and her other son and family have never spoken to me...ever!! I've tried umpteen times to fix this but I always come off worse. Anyway, dh owns the house she is living in. She doesn't pay rent as we thought it was mean to charge her anything. Now, though we have an opportunity to relocate to another country(due to dh's job) so dh was tying up loose ends so we could maybe go before xmas. He needed his mum to sign another tenancy agreement as we have to get the mortgage on her house fixed so the payments will constantly be the same for 2 years....but she has refused! We cannot move away until things on that house is sorted as the amount it is costing now with changes in interest rates is getting hard to pay, but she won't let us change it. Dh has no alternative but to sell it with his mum as a tenant. This is possible and we had a chap interested, but she will not allow anyone to view the house. So we are screwed. We can't move, we can't sell her house and we still ahve a mortgage to pay on it as well as our own mortgage. We have had screaming matches from dh's brother and his wife....threatening to come down to see us, and we have 2 small children in the house. I am a constant nervous wreck. I won't open the curtains or answer the door or phone. I have turned into a prisoner.

I can't believe she has ruined this great opportunity for us.

Sorry, I have waffled on....I am just so upset and angry with this whole situation. Thanks for listening.

OP posts:
MancMum · 16/11/2004 16:58

sounds awful... you poor thing - what does your DH think - if his relationship with his mother is so bad that she would do this to him, is it worth just cutting her out of your lives - charge her rent, if she don;t pay evict her... sounds harsh but I am in bad mood and she sounds so horrible she deserves it!!

zephyrcat · 16/11/2004 17:02

good advice MancMum!! I guess it's really your dh thats needs to be harsh here. If his family are making him as miserable as they are making you then you've both got nothing to lose by cutting them out selling the house and moving away to a new country and a new life. How well does dh get along with her? maybe if he went on his own to talk to her and tells her a couple of white lies - eg if he doesnt take this move/job he could lose his job etc so he has no option. If the brother and his wife carry on and it gets desperate, get a restraining order on them (or whatever its called that means they arent allowed near you!) Basically i think it's your dh's call though as its his mother. God i hate mother in laws! Godd luck to you all though, I hope it works out for you

ggglimpopo · 16/11/2004 17:03

Message withdrawn

agy · 16/11/2004 17:07

Could you grit your teeth and invite her to yours for the day. Then while she is away your DH could show the interested person round the house - and take it from there?

pinkroses · 16/11/2004 17:22

She won't even speak to dh on the phone. She has completely cut us off. The only contact we are getting is dh's brother shouting at us down the phone. Dh has tried explaining to him and his mum the situation we are in, but they don't care.

What a family.

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zephyrcat · 16/11/2004 17:24

well if thats how she wants to be then i think your only option is to get some legal advice. Technically its not her house and if she is refusing to sign a new tenancy agreement then she is squatting. Dont let this stop you and dh from having a new life. (I know its easier said than done but be strong )

zephyrcat · 16/11/2004 17:25

If dh's brother is really a problem and you can be gone by xmas why not get your belongings in storage and stay with friends/rented house or something while you sell your own house or whatever and get legal help - then they wont know where you are

agy · 16/11/2004 17:38

Could you write a letter to her explaining exactly what you propose and point out how reasonable you are being. I mean, you're not throwing her out are you?! Point out that if she won't sign the tenancy agreement then you will have to sell with her as tenant and then she will have to pay rent. Surely that would scare her into cooperating?

pinkroses · 16/11/2004 22:34

Just had the worst arguement with dh's brother. You know, my MIL has told him every private detail of our lives.

He picked on us over not working and said how we are being paid for by him...he also called my children scum. He's never mt them. He said I was thick. A nasty evil b*tch. How everyone hates me. I am soooo angry and upset rolled into one. Why are people allowed to talk this way.....and why is my MIL gossip private details about my life to everyone.

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