TW *mentions rape*

[Dreamitaway]

Can I please have your opinion on these hypothetical situations please and whether you would regard them as rape or not?

1. 13/14 year old dating 17 year old. 17 year old asks for sex, 13/14 year old doesn't say no but feels pressured and ends up having sex. They feel awful afterwards and don't continue the sexual relationship afterwards.

2. A very drunk 15 year old is taken home by an also drunk 35 year old man. 15 year old wakes up in the morning and only has snippets of memory of what happened but knows they had sex. The 34 year old man claims that she said she was 16 but the girl has no memory of this.

I know this is a really odd question but there is a deeper reason as to why and would just like some opinions. Please no hate.

I’d consider both scenarios rape. Scenario 1 - age difference very problematic, no consent actually given, sounds coercive. Scenario 2 - a grown adult and child, even if it’s true about not knowing age (unlikely) - being “very drunk” = unable to consent. I hope you’re ok OP

@Bellyacher

I’d consider both scenarios rape. Scenario 1 - age difference very problematic, no consent actually given, sounds coercive. Scenario 2 - a grown adult and child, even if it’s true about not knowing age (unlikely) - being “very drunk” = unable to consent. I hope you’re ok OP

In scenario 2: wouldn't it matter that he was also very drunk.

I am OK, thank you though xx

Both rape.

1) 13/14 year old dating 17 year old. 17 year old asks for sex, 13/14 year old doesn't say no but feels pressured and ends up having sex. They feel awful afterwards and don't continue the sexual relationship afterwards.

The 13/14 year old isn't at the legal age of consent whereas the 17 year old is. The 13/14 year old hasn't given free consent.

2) A very drunk 15 year old is taken home by an also drunk 35 year old man. 15 year old wakes up in the morning and only has snippets of memory of what happened but knows they had sex. The 34 year old man claims that she said she was 16 but the girl has no memory of this.

Again the girl is under the legal age of consent.

If the girl is not conscious or intoxicated there is a presumption that she has not consented.

Irrelevant that the man was also drunk. He could clearly engage in sex after all.

OP, I feel like this is about you. Please speak to rape crisis... rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/

Thank you both.

It is about me, I had a really tough upbringing and I think I got into situations that I never ever should have gotten into but as I've gotten older, I'm just wondering whether I've been fair to myself by putting all the blame on me. I will never wish to go public with any of it as I definitely put myself in those dangerous and silly situations but sometimes I feel like I was robbed of any childhood.

Thank you for not judging xz

This is 100% not your fault.

In both of the scenarios you were a young teen. You were very much taken advantage of.

Please please call rape crisis. They're amazing and you can talk through your emotions with them. They don't judge they just listen and are very well trained.

It's difficult because I can think of so many reasons as to why its not their fault but its much harder when coming up with reasons for myself.

Thank you, I'll take a look at the link above. I don't think I've ever really opened up about any of this and because it happened twice, I feel like it must be my fault. Xx

Agree with exactly what @D0lphine said. 100% not your fault, you were coerced and manipulated