Fear of sounds

[Jojobinxpoi]

I’ve had anxiety and depression all my life due to a traumatic childhood. I was diagnosed with PTSD by a counsellor last year but they were unable to help me due to the severity and with Covid in the way I gave up temporarily.
My main issue I need to work on is a fear of sounds, loud bangs in particular. I have a very noisy neighbour who bangs around constantly and every time I hear a noise I flinch, my heart races, I feel dizzy and sick and in some cases I feel like I am about to be physically attacked. I know none of this is normal because a normal bang shouldn’t make someone jump out of their skin and cry, but unfortunately it’s something I’ve always had to live with.
Now i am faced with the noise all day and night I know I need to put on my big girl pants and not let it affect me anymore, I just don’t know where to begin.
The noise only gives me this reaction when it’s another person and sudden that I wasn’t expecting. If I do it myself there is no reaction at all. Exposure therapy wouldn’t work for this reason.
Has anyone else got this and can advise what works for them please? It’s taking over my life and I never sleep because I am anticipating the sound, and when I fall asleep and the bangs begin I wake up startled and feel worse. I’m walking around on eggshells because the neighbour know it upsets me they do it more. Thanks

Interesting fact - we are born with only two inherent fears; being dropped/falling and loud noises.

On a practical front have you tried earplugs at night and noise cancelling headphones during the day?

Thanks for replying, I used to wear ear plugs but as strange as it sounds it enhanced the sound so it felt like it was coming from inside my head rather than through a wall if that makes sense. Plus I have children so I need to still be able to listen out for them.

Ah, OK. Can you describe what's going on in your imagination when you hear the noises?

Intense fear that something bad will happen. I know nothing can happen to me because of a sound but I feel under personal attack and knowing I have no control over when it’ll stop makes me get more and more anxious so It’s permanently on my mind as I’m waiting for it to begin. Sometimes it’s sadness or anger but generally I’m just scared and shaking. Weirdly it doesn’t take me back to my childhood or give me any flashbacks although it’s clear that’s the connection.

It's very likely that there's an association in your subconscious between loud/sudden noises and something bad happening; because of your childhood trauma your conscious mind is blocking out the connection.

Up to the age of around 8 we have no ability to think rationally or logically (which is why children have no problem with accepting Santa visiting every household in the world in one night!) so we accept as truth everything we experience.

Once those 'truths' are embedded as core beliefs they become facts as far as we're concerned and no amount of conscious understanding can dislodge them. For example, if a significant adult screamed in fear at the sight of a spider the child's mind will adopt the belief that was the correct response, and will continue to provoke a fear reaction in adulthood, even when it's logically proved that spiders are harmless.

I've been studying hypnosis and it's something that would stop your fear reaction to noise in 2 or 3 sessions and could help enormously with your PTSD. Have a look at thecontrolsystem.co.uk/ and have a chat directly with Tim Box, he offers a free initial consultation to assess whether you'd respond to hypnotherapy.

Thank you I really appreciate your replies and help, I will definitely look into it I’m willing to try anything now. While the association to the banging no longer upsets me or scares me it makes sense that subconsciously my mind remembers the time I was and it triggers the fear.

EDMR might help.

Thank you I will have a look into it.

Hi Jojo
I understand and l dislike sudden and unexpected noise especially from neighbours. My next door neighbours are not great and l do hear them shriek with friends and grandchildren- best description. It has upset me in the past but l now just try and let them be and know that the noise is upsetting but it cannot harm me and that is my choice. I try hard to switch off and go into a different space. They offer me noise but l don't accept it in myself. It is mind over matter. I understand. You are not alone in all this. Others including me have it.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

EDMR might help.

What is EDMR?

@Youlittlerascal

Hi Jojo I understand and l dislike sudden and unexpected noise especially from neighbours. My next door neighbours are not great and l do hear them shriek with friends and grandchildren- best description. It has upset me in the past but l now just try and let them be and know that the noise is upsetting but it cannot harm me and that is my choice. I try hard to switch off and go into a different space. They offer me noise but l don't accept it in myself. It is mind over matter. I understand. You are not alone in all this. Others including me have it.

I would love to have this skill. How did you learn to do this?

@Sarahlou63

Interesting fact - we are born with only two inherent fears; being dropped/falling and loud noises.

On a practical front have you tried earplugs at night and noise cancelling headphones during the day?

I read this today:

"Phonophobia (also called ligyrophobia or sonophobia) is a persistent and unusual fear of sound, either a specific sound such as an alarm or general environmental sounds. People with phonophobia fear the possibility of being exposed to sounds, especially loud sounds, in present and future situations, and sometimes become homebound due to this anxiety."

www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/05/06/noise-control-11-tips-for-helping-your-child-with-autism-deal-with-noise/

The above was for the OP, @Jojobinxpoi

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing

EDMR

Abracadabra

Radical acceptance theory.

I was going to suggest a book called 'dare' by Barry Mcdonagh. It explains how we can become sensitised to the sensations of fear but can learn ways to cope with the fearful sensations by not fearing them and therefore lessening their impact and generally reducing our levels of anxiety. I do think you have to be of a certain mindset to take this message on board but I've found it helpful.

Learning to be compassionate with yourself also very helpful!