Hi all,
Sorry if I ramble on but I'm not sure how to put this into words. I have never been someone who would ever describe herself as anxious/ depressed/ a worrier. I have always had a good "get up and go" attitude. This is not to say that I don't have hard times but I've always been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and weather the storm. I knew the feelings would pass and I have always been good and accepting and working through how I feel.
I'm a secondary school teacher (mid 20s) and many, many colleagues have complimented how resilient I am and able to tackle anything. This is true. I'm not trying to be big headed I'm just trying to explain myself.
However, recently, over the last few months I have this dark, dark cloud over me that I can never seem to get rid off. I have tried weathering the storm like usual but nothing is helping. I've started waking up every night at about 3am and find myself unable to sleep (this is extremely unlike me). I feel so emotional and as if I could just burst into tears at any time.
My mother is an alcoholic and she's started to have extreme psychosis episodes - this is weighing heavily on me. Especially as every time I try and get help for her it's red tape after red tape as she refuses to stop the alcohol. I also have extreme (and I mean immense) anxiety over the covid vaccine. I'm not currently vaccinated but I want to be. I just can't seem to actually take the step to get vaccinated (there are many, many reasons to this and I've had a different thread on this). I really really don't want this to be a vaccine debate but I feel like I'm being torn apart all the time.
I try and talk to DH about it all and he sympathised to some extent but doesn't do much - what can he do?
Is this what anxiety is? This weight on my chest every day? Do I need to seek help?
TIA for any advice. It's also nice to get it off my chest as I haven't really spoken about how I have been feeling to anyone.