Another depressed New Years Day

[MrsCremuel]

I’m trying not to set much store by it being NYD but it’s just really depressing me, like it does every year. I have no right for it to, I have a family and a nice home and friends. Currently holding my sleeping new born.

I just feel a sense of dread and deep sadness as usual. The dread is the thought of the next two months of dreary weather and just about managing with a baby and a toddler being stuck indoors because of short days and bad weather, and my own reaction to it. And the sadness is just always there really but is so much worse today.

Why am I like this? I just want to be a happy mum and person not a misery guys all the time.

Maybe this is the year I try AD, I managed to get through a bad patch with CBT this year. I’m so up and down, sometimes I feel totally fine and like I don’t need them but then days like this I just want to crawl into bed and cry.

I’m so sorry OP. Anti depressants worked for me in the past - currently also have a new baby and I’m planning to go back on them now. Take care of yourself

I sympathise OP, I've had lots of years like this. You need to make sure your diet is good and that you get as much daylight as possible - try to get out for a walk with your baby as much as possible, preferably in the mornings. If you can walk in woodland then even better. Do you take vitamin supplements? Vitamin D is an all absolute must through the winter.

I think if you can understand that lots of people feel like this then it helps a bit too.

Maybe talk to your GP about ADs for the short term.

Listen/watch/read Dr Rangan Chattejee's work - he has some brilliant advice. One example here

Hope you start to feel better soon - I know how miserable it can be

January and February are so hard because of the usual wet days and short daylight hours.
I always think the reason November and December are bearable is the preparation and excitement of Christmas because the weather is fairly similar.

I was on ADs for years but I do things slightly differently now. Especially after discovering my vitamin D was in single figures. Sorting this out has helped hugely.

I don't have little ones anymore, mine are all teenagers now. So some of what I do may not be possible for you.

We have a log burner that I lay each day and look forward to a hot drink by the fire each evening.

I always try to get out if the sun shines for an hour, countryside, park or coast as we are close. If I'm not up to organising it, I put my coat and shoes on and just leave the house to walk locally for 15 mins.

I re-read my diary where I high light the positive things and blessings the past year has brought.

I plant up bulbs from the garden centre in pots in October and they peek out ready to grow about now. Seeing new life helps lift my mood.

I schedule in some some personal care appointments such as hair and sometimes nails

I plan date nights with my husband. These can be at home with a take away. We spend time dressing up and making the room special. If it's possible to go out we plan for this too.

We make reciprocal supper dates with friends (including the children) and take turns hosting.

I find if I have a structure and a focus then longer days and Spring is here before this time of year can bring me down.

Vitamin D levels run very low in this country in shorter days. I take the maximum recommended by the nhs in the winter months , which is quite a lot. This really puts the zing back for me. I think of all the years I was on ADs and wonder if I'd been tested earlier if I'd not have needed them.

Thank you all, I think the last 3 months with a newborn, and toddler before that, have probably taken more of a toll on me as I expected. All the things I used to do to help have sort of fallen by the wayside and Covid hasn’t helped.

Some really great advice here, I hadn’t really thought about vitamin D, I’ve ordered some tablets. My diet is absolutely awful at the moment so need to sort that and get some exercise.

Planning on getting out and making the most of the god weather today abs hopefully that will lift my spirits. It’s so so wearing but the thought of doing things to make it better helps.

Sorry for typos- breastfeeding!

I've been on ADs for the last year and they're working brilliantly - but even I'm finding things depressing at the moment. It's the rubbish weather, the short days, the uncertainty with covid once again .. it is rubbish. The only thing you can possibly do is try to plan things to look forward to, take care of yourself, treat yourself. The summer will come, as it always does.

It’s so nice to hear others who feel the same, I sometimes feel like people think I’m being silly. Well, my well meaning husband who has zero MH problems is kind but bewildered. I wish none of us felt this way but take solace in the solidarity.

This really is a crappy time of year for our mental health. I hate January. Having said that I'm glad to see the back of 2021. I'm trying very hard to be positive today - I'm up and dressed, done some washing up, got my daughter's lunch ready, and I'm going to take her to the playground. The weather looks pretty good - mild and bright. I hope your day improves. Do talk to your GP about maybe starting antidepressants.

New years just signifies to me another year I have to try and get through, whilst pretending to be remotely OK. I am exhausted. I'm so resentful about being here.

@Someonemustknowtheanswer I know that feeling. I’ve been fantasising about just walking out the house and getting on a train to nowhere as just running away really. The effort of carrying on has felt monumental today. I just want to leave all the shit in my head behind. I did actually do this once in my early 20s but now with a baby and toddler it’s unthinkable.

My DB took his life when he was a teen so I’d never do that, I think running away is my version. And then I look at my kids and husband and just think what a pathetic selfish specimen I am.

I have nothing useful to add, but understand how you feel

I often fantasise about leaving like that too. But then I realise I'd be just as miserable, if not more. I'm so sorry you lost your brother to suicide. You are not pathetic or selfish - you're still here and fighting . You're strong ❤️

I always get low in January.

It’s been such a rollercoaster few days. I’ve just been all over the place. Half the day I feel fine and like I’m coping and feel really upbeat and then something small what happen and I will be absolutely through the floor. Totally exhausted like I’m trying to get through the day walking through thick treacle.

Yesterday was a real low point as I started to get the old panic attack feelings again. I’ve tried to call the doctor (21 times to be precise) but can’t get through, what a nightmare. Luckily my toddler is at nursery today and I’ve just got the baby so I get a bit of a break.

At least it’s forecast to be sunny today, I’m going to try and get out for a walk which should help.

Hope everyone is feeling better than me.xxx