I have suffered from low mood for as long as I can remember and think I had OCD as a teen although nothing was diagnosed. Since Covid started I have really spiralled and although I'm not really scared of catching it in terms of illness I'm constantly really anxious about giving it to someone else. I have forced myself to socialise a bit but mostly avoid situations if I can. I hardly slept in the run up to Christmas as I knew I would be spending it with family and don't trust lateral flow tests. Anyway, yesterday I was out for a walk and think I saw a friend and her baby at a distance. I totally panicked as I didn't want to go near them in case I gave anything to the baby and walked the other way. I'm not sure if she noticed and she didn't shout over or anything but I'm now really upset and worried she'll think I ignored her. I can't do anything about it because if she didn't see me I would then be making a thing out of it if that makes sense. But mostly I'm disgusted at myself for how bad I've let this get. I know my behaviour is irrational and I'm not living life as I should but I'm also really embarrassed about telling anyone in real life to get help. I'm back to working from home and have hardly been to the office in 2 years and I know that's a big part of it as it's easier to stay detached from things. Something has just got into my head and I need to work out how to get better.