Feeling overwhelmed by anxiety right now and hoping that posting might help to organise my thoughts and get some perspective. I know how to help myself but many things are easier said than done. Number one i really should not be on mumsnet. It really is an awful place if your feeling anxious. There will always be a reply that justifies your catastrophic thinking or introduces a new worry you hadn't thought of yet. What makes their opinions more truthful than mine? Nothing but the anxious mind doesn't need much to be tipped over the edge. Number two, i must stop watching the news and reading about it all online. I am searching for answers that just aren't there right now and if you look hard enough you can find something to support your worst fears. So what is it that im actually worried about? Truth is I'm not 100% sure. It's a million little things that individually are perfectly manageable but combined together create a permanent fight or flight state which is exhausting. Firstly covid. We have all had it and had all vaccines available to us. Until this week I felt pretty chilled about it. I knew that it was possible to catch it again but highly likely. Now I suddenly feel totally vulnerable, like we are totally open to it and could test positive any moment. Testing brings only moments of relief then i feel the urge to test again. I know this is making me worse so I am not testing today (we are not seeing anyone). I have a headache from being permanently tense but of course I convince myself that it's probably covid! The crazy thing is that even if one of us does test positive it wouldn't be the end of the world. We would have to stay at home instead of going to mil but we have plenty of treats in and it would be fine, less stressful even. But what if one of us develops a cold and tests negative? Do we go cancel for a cold? Certainly wouldn't have any other year. So I am spending hours trying to find reinfection data which just doesn't exist apart from anecdotes on mumsnet saying everyone they know is catching it again. Arhh. I just want to get outside of my own head it's too busy and scary. I need to let go and get on with my day but finding it hard right now.