Evening everyone,
Just hoping for some help / direction really. I've always suffered from bouts of anxiety but I've had some counselling and I'm pretty good at recognising it now and dealing with it so I don't get too bad.
I don't have a history of depression. I've always been able to pull myself out of "sad phases" but this time something feels different. I'm not sure if it's signs of depression or normal "pandemic" sadnes?
I'm from the UK but live abroad. My family and friends are all in different countries (I've moved around a lot over the last ten years ). I'm happy here and had some good friendships nearby but two of them moved away just before COVID. I was pregnant when the pandemic hit. So I've basically been at home since March 2020. I'd say Ive been coping fine but I've been pretty isolated with a colic baby, not been able to make any "mum friends", I haven't seen my family in 2 and a half years (last time I was home), and every trip we had was cancelled due to COVID. I do have a very supportive husband at least but we have zero family nearby so it's just been us with no breaks.
We were meant to be flying on Tuesday to the UK for Christmas. The last month has been up and down constantly with the uncertainty but today with impending lockdown and news the country I live in might move Britain to the red list, I'm feeling so deflated. I'm trying so hard to bring myself out of it but I'm struggling.
The last few weeks I've been feeling :-
- Close to tears often
*Lack of desire to leave the house for a walk (which I do everyday)
*Guilt because I'm not paying as much attention to my son as I usually do
*Lack of motivation (writing a dissertation and struggling to finish despite my deadline at the beginning of January)
*Eating everything in sight
*Feeling like every small task is such hard work (like tidying up)
I don't feel suicidal or like I want to hurt myself. I'm sleeping fine too.
Does this sound like I should be making a doctor's trip on Monday? I thought going home and just seeing my family would really pull me out of this but knowing we might not make it is hitting me hard now. And I'm not sure if this is normal or if something isn't right.
Thanks everyone