I feel like ending it

[Lightsout13]

I feel so low. So unhappy.

I'm in a relationship where I'm so unhappy. But I'm scared to leave.

I suffer with bad anxiety and the thought of seperating is scarier and it seems easier to just stay and feel unhappy.

It seems no matter what I decide, I will be sad and unhappy. I'm so indecisive and am struggling to think clearly.

Wish I could go to sleep and not wake up

I’m so sorry you are feeling so very unhappy.
Please call a helpline, speaking about everything out loud to someone anonymously may help put things in perspective and you might be able to get referred for further help or counselling.
I’m sure someone else will come along with more sound advice, hang in there.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

@Nosejobent thank you..I have phoned the Samaritans but they weren't much help

I'm not sure if I should speak to my family.

I hate people worrying about me and always pretend I'm ok

Hugs lots of them I’m at my wits end with my h please see your go or a very close friend who you can, trust.

I'm sorry you are unhappy at the moment. As someone nearly 70, I can honestly say that life is up and down. Good times will absolutely come back for you, even if you can't see it now.
You should speak to your family about it, and I hope you can get some help in real life. Sending hugs - it will get better.

@Holothane I know if I speak to someone I trust, they will just tell me if I'm so unhappy, to just leave. But I feel stuck and don't have the strength to do it.

So I think I will stay unhappy for ever

@harriet1216 thank you for your words of encouragement. I feel so unhappy in my relationship, but I can't summon the strength to end it. Instead I'm not eating, not sleeping, physically and mentally exhausted.

It's like I'm choosing to have a slow death rather than end the relationship

OP sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Please seek professional help from your GP / local IAPT service. Lack of sleep and food will make it difficult to think clearly and rationally. If you can get out for a 5 minute walk, have 1 nutritious meal etc it’s amazing the motivation it can have you

@Nostrings457 thank you..I've only eaten a slice of toast this morning which was a struggle.

I did phone my GP yesterday. I've been prescribed medication to help me sleep better.

But they don't know the extent of my problem. Just that I have anxiety and depression but they don't know what is causing it. I don't feel comfortable telling a doctor as I know they don't really care about relationship issues

Could you access some counselling, to deal with the relationship problems?
As far as leaving goes, could you start making some plans? Are there children to consider?

How are you feeling today?
Please feel free to talk online as well as in RL.

@Harriet1216 I have thought about relationship counselling, but see little point. My partner is emotionally controlling and has worn me down so much I havent the strength to leave. I just know I have to leave, but feel scared of it.

I know I can go back to my parents. But I just feel so scared

@Nosejobent thank you for asking.

I felt terrible this morning, I was up all night with severe anxiety, heavy sweating etc. Went for a walk this afternoon and have eaten some food today & had a smoothie so feel a bit better at the moment

I'm so sorry your feeling this way OP. I've been there myself and as bleak as things seem in your worst moments things can get better 💖.

In my darkest days a few years ago I could never have believed that I would ever feel the happiness I do now. Please know that you are not alone xo

Tell your dad and your mum. I promise they will want you to.
Go home for Christmas

@petuniabutterworth thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

@lostforwords2021 yes I spoke to her earlier. She's very worried about and is encouraging me to just leave

[quote Lightsout13]@petuniabutterworth thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

@lostforwords2021 yes I spoke to her earlier. She's very worried about and is encouraging me to just leave[/quote]
Let your mum look after you, she will want to.

Have some time to be anxiety free to see how you feel.

@lostforwords2021

It's strange. Feeling anxious feels normal to me. It almost feels safe. It feels scarey to escape this anxiety bubble

Yep, I really hear you on that.

The thing is, no one can make that decision to see what the other side is like apart from you and only when you are ready.

You will know and I promise you will get there.

@LostForWords2021 thanks for the encouragement

Please go home for Christmas, an I hope your parents can help you to find the strength to leave and start a new period in your life.

[quote Lightsout13]@LostForWords2021 thanks for the encouragement[/quote]
I wish it was only words of encouragement, please think about it and even just try the Christmas period to trail a new anxiety free time back at home, let mum and dad look after you for a bit.

One day at a time to start with